2012: Chevy Super Bowl Ad

I actually enjoyed this commercial for the most part.  I just wish they would have omitted the Mayan Apocalypse newspaper headline at the beginning.  Why not just use "End of the World" as the headline?  Instead, Chevy continues to push this idiotic idea on people. 

Daggerfall is better than Skyrim

NFL Pick 'Em: Super Bowl Version

I was 2-0, which brings me to 5-5 for the playoffs, which means my total record for the year is 128-128.  I need to get the Super Bowl right to have a winning record.  Pretty crazy.

New York Giants vs. New England Patriots (-3.0):  Giants
I do not have a lot of reasoning behind this one.  It just seems to me that the Giants are going to win the game.  Plus, you should not come to me for in-depth analysis, go to ESPN or any other channel covering such things.

Instead though, let us look at some of the fun prop bets:

Coin Toss:  Heads


Kelly Clarkson Bets
-Will she forget words?--No
-Will she wear a jersey?--No
-How long to sing the anthem?--Under 1:34
-Show her bare belly?--Yes

Other People Mentions:
-Number of times Peyton Manning shown?--Over 3.5 (I would say five times)
-Number of times they show Giselle?--Over .5 (I would say at least two times)
-How many times will Andrew Luck be mentioned?--Over 1.0 (I say three times)

Random:
-Color of Gatorade on winning coach:  Blue (it's a 10:1 long-shot)
-Super Bowl MVP Thank First?  God

And that is all I am doing, I will not even mention any of the stupid Madonna stuff. 

Groundhog Day

I just discovered that I have never posted anything about this idiotic holiday.  And, since everyone in the universe is posting videos from one of my favorite movies, I figured I better jump in...but instead of the same clips as everyone else, I went with one of my favorite scenes:

HKIRBBTL: Ragnarock Ravens team

At second winter home field (Antares Bowl)

The players are:

5 Thrower Thor Åkenskaldi
12 Catcher Leifur Eriksson
63 Blitzer Hans von Helvete
68 Blitzer Harald Hårdare
80 Lineman Reidar Horghagen
88 Lineman Tomas Haugen
90 Lineman Stian Tomt Thoresen
91 Lineman Jan Axel Blomberg
96 Lineman Per Yngve Ohlin
51 Norse werewolf Geri
55 Norse werewolf Freki

All numbers are in accordance to NFL regulations. During the summer months the Ravens play their games at Fågeli Båll in Kotka, but seasonally they relocate to the warmer climate of Hel-sjunga-fors and the demi-legendary Antares field in the cusp of the meadows of Lots Ö.

The team is coached by great seer and domedag shamen Asatru Ahnold Azanulbizar Sjöfarare who in his youth played the ball as a blitzer for the Vanaheimr Vandals and the Muspell Monsters. The Viking League of olden days (äldre dagar) was of course played in the winter darkness, as summer was reserved for pillage and plunder over yonder. From this experience AAAS (or ass, as he is now known to his players) took with him a deep knowledge of extreme conditions blood bowl and a hard hitting style with a take-no-prisoners attitude.

The on-field leader of the team is undoubtably the flaming haired blitzer Harald Hårdare 68, who Ass discovered as boy of seven playing the regional league of Miðgarðr. He has surely inherited much of the old mans tricks and plays and is widely known for his foul manner and uncouth mouth.

For this inaugural intraregional season Ass has tapped to the youth potential of the northern lands by picking an up and coming star quarterback (thrower) Thor Åkenskaldi 5, from Hvergelmir stead. Whether the young man can stand up to the challenge remains to be seen. The seafaring son of master mariner Erik Thorvaldsson, Leifur Eriksson has shown promise with his fast feet and quick wit, but like Åkenskaldi has little experience in playing the ball. With some Asa forbearance he can blossom into a delicate northern flower though!

To bolsten the norse line Ass went to the wellspring of norse power, in the land of Åsgard at the house of Valhalla, where the all father and death god of Norse people, Odin himself gave the coach two wolf pups to raise. These Ass fed manflesh for long years and in remembrance to old ways gave them names Geri and Freki. Now these foul Vargr or werewolves are ready for some intraspecies action on the gridiron!

The vikings are coming!

HKIRBBTL: Brutes-Titans 2-0

Here's the report from my Titans' first game!

Braga's Brutes at Tor Achare Titans

Thirteen thousand excited fans turned out to watch the Titans' season opener as they hosted the Brutes at the Chrace Liondrome. Having already smashed the Blood River Buccaneers, Braga's greenskin horde was a known quantity, but the Titans' surprise hiring of a previously unknown Lizardman head coach had caused a bit of a stir in Blood Bowl circles. His name, unpronounceable even to the high elves, was quickly shortened to T.Rex by the media for convenience's sake. "Chaos abhors a bounded space," he assured reporters at the pre-game conference. "The gridiron is righteous."

The Brutes won the opening coin toss and elected to receive. These were the opening formations:

That is, until the excited fans got a little too excited and rushed the pitch! With a massive cry of waaaaaagh, Brutes supporters stormed onto the field, devastating the Titans' opening lineup and trampling one of their own black orcs into the astrogranite in the process.

After the mess was cleared up and the stampeding greenskin fans herded off the field, both teams were more than a little disoriented: the Brutes came away with the advantage, with no less than six Titans players face down on the pitch, but were unable to capitalize on the situation when thrower Slib'ry Ands lived up to his name and failed to pick up the ball.

Slowly but surely, the Brutes started rolling down the pitch with the ball, downing Orodreth Ecthelion with a flying tackle. Play came to a momentary halt when Brutes lineman Galhag, scorer of the sole touchdown in the Buccaneers game, smashed into Titans lineman Lindir Salgant and left him dead on the field. Salgant earns the dubious distinction of being the Turboleague's first fatality, and a combination of fatality and touchdown in his first two games mark Galhag as a player to watch.

Despite their shocking loss, the Titans put up a brave defense, slowing down the Brutes' grinding offense and nearly scoring a coup when blitzer Finrod Angamaitë found a gap in the Brutes' cage and sacked Slib'ry Ands, knocking him out cold and the ball loose.

Nonetheless, the Titans' last-ditch defense was foiled when Brutes blitzer Galoth grabbed the ball and smashed into the end zone in the dying moments of the first half to score the first touchdown of the game. With mere seconds left on the clock, the Titans' only goal in the last drive was payback:

The Brutes kicked the ball high, giving Titans thrower Beleg Strongarm an easy catch and completion, while blitzer Teclis Turukáno avenged the Brutes' touchdown by sending scorer Galoth to the dubious ministrations of the Brutes' orcish apothecaries. He was carried off the field to the sound of the horn signaling the intermission.

**

Both coaches put the break to good use in their own particular idioms; in Braga's case, smashing heads, while the Titans received a heavy dose of transcendental philosophy. Both teams took the field re-energized by their respective coaches, with the receiving Titans taking the initiative; Teclis Turukáno scored another casualty right at the start of the drive when he sent Brutes blitzer Urghuk off with a devastating hit.

Braga's greenskins started rolling back the Titans' line aggressively, and halfway through the drive Brutes blitzer Sorgask managed to sack Beleg Strongarm. The ball bounced around out of control as both teams tried their hardest to get it under control. Finally, Beleg managed to get his hands on the ball with a receiver away downfield, but he fumbled the ball and blitzer Grambad converted on the turnover to make the score 2-0 Brutes.

Sadly, there wasn't enough time for the Titans to score when the last drive started, so they did their best to give the Brutes something to remember them by.

After a short disorganized mêlée, the refs called it quits, and the day was Braga's with a 2-0 win. Representatives of the Blood Bowl media in attendance awarded the Most Valuable Player title to Brutes Black Orc #2 Morgur, for very sportingly allowing himself to be trampled underfoot by the fans, and Titans thrower #3 for his beautifully executed, totally irrelevant passing completions.

The coaches held brief post-game press conferences. Braga's consisted of leaving the stadium shouting WAAAAAAGH, while his uninjured blitzers muttered about the lack of casualties. "F*cking chess game," swore a surprisingly articulate orc, perhaps suffering from a head injury. Titans head coach T.Rex was quite pleased with his team's performance despite the loss, citing the two inflicted casualties and near success on the bold passing play as positives. "Discord walks before harmony," he opined. "Trails are blazed by fire. Righteousness will prevail."

**

Boxscore:

Attendance 13,000
FAME: TIT 0, BRU 1

First half, Brutes receiving: kickoff result Pitch Invasion

BRU T1: #10 fails to pick up the ball, TURNOVER
TIT T3: #15 fails Dodge roll, TURNOVER
BRU T4: #11 BRU kills #11 TIT
TIT T6: #1 TIT KO's #10 BRU, sack
BRU T8: #8 BRU picks up the ball and scores a TOUCHDOWN
1-0 BRU-TIT

Titans receiving: kickoff result High Kick

TIT T8: #3 TIT throws to #12 TIT, completion; #2 TIT injures #8 BRU (badly hurt)

Second half, Titans receiving: kickoff result Brilliant Coaching (tie)

TIT T1: #2 TIT injures #6 BRU (badly hurt)
BRU T4: #5 BRU sacks #3 TIT
TIT T5: #16 TIT tries to pick up the ball, TURNOVER
BRU T5: #10 BRU fails Dodge roll, TURNOVER
TIT T6: #3 TIT makes Dodge roll, picks up ball in tackle zone, dodges out, attempts long pass. #? BRU makes interception, negated by Safe Throw; #3 TIT fumbles pass, TURNOVER
BRU T6: #7 BRU blitzes #3 TIT, picks up the ball; #9 BRU blocks #14 TIT, both down, TURNOVER
TIT T7: #13 TIT blocks #10 BRU, skull, TURNOVER
BRU T7: #7 BRU scores TOUCHDOWN
2-0 BRU-TIT

Titans receiving: kickoff result Quick Snap

TIT T8: #3 TIT passes to #13 TIT, completion

End of match.

Revenue: TIT 50,000, BRU 50,000
Fan factor: TIT -0, BRU +1
MVP: TIT #3, BRU #2
Improvement rolls: TIT #3 5

**

Lineups:

Braga's Brutes

#01 Braga da 'Ed Bash'a (black orc)
#02 Morgur (black orc) [MVP]
#03 Roflog (black orc)
#04 Azgrum (black orc)
#05 Sorgask (blitzer) [sack]
#06 Urghuk (blitzer) [badly hurt]
#07 Grambad (blitzer) [touchdown]
#08 Galoth (blitzer) [touchdown, badly hurt]
#09 Grab da Bol (thrower)
#10 Slib'ry Ands (thrower)
#11 Galhag (lineman) [fatality]

Tor Achare Titans:

#1 Finrod Angamaitë (blitzer) [sack]
#2 Teclis Turukáno (blitzer) [2 * casualty]
#3 Beleg Strongarm (thrower) [2 * completion, MVP]
#9 Carecalmo (lineman)
#10 Ilmiril Telinturco (lineman)
#11 Lindir Salgant (lineman) [dead]
#12 Morelion Tethlis (lineman)
#13 Caryarel Mothril (lineman)
#14 Meryaren (lineman)
#15 Orodreth Ecthelion (lineman)
#16 Ulundil (lineman)

**

League table: [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, sacks]

Brutes (2-0-0) 6 pts, 3-0, 3-2, 1, 0, 1-2
Buccaneers (1-1-0) 3 pts, 2-1, 2-2, 0, 4, 2-2
Titans (0-1-0) 0 pts, 0-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 1-1
Murderers (0-1-0) 0 pts, 0-2, 0-3, 0, 2, 2-1
Mütants (0-0-0)
Ravens (0-0-0)
Warriors (0-0-0)

Individual statistics:

Touchdowns:

Galfir (Buccaneers): 1
Galhag (Brutes): 1
Galoth (Brutes): 1
Grambad (Brutes): 1
Tyrim (Buccaneers): 1

Casualties:

Teclis Turukáno (Titans): 2
Braga da 'Ed Bash'a (Brutes): 1
Dark Elf journeyman (Buccaneers): 1
Galhag (Brutes): 1
Nasty Narsil (Buccaneers): 1
Urghuk (Brutes): 1

Fatalities:

Galhag (Brutes): 1

Completions:

Beleg Strongarm (Titans): 2
Clarius Vile (Buccaneers): 2
Avil Darksoul (Buccaneers): 1
Mordak Blackheart (Buccaneers): 1
Shishi Yanumibaal (Murderers): 1
Tussurradad (Murderers): 1

Sacks:

Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 1
Mordak Blackheart (Buccaneers): 1
Shishi Yanumibaal (Murderers): 1
Sorgask (Brutes): 1
Tussurradad (Murderers): 1
Tyrim (Buccaneers): 1

Cha-Cha-Changes

I have a confession to make.  I lied to you.  Remember a long time ago when I said I quit smoking?  Well, it only really last about a month (if that really).  I kept buying a pack whenever I would go out drinking.  And then it just happened that I kept smoking.  I felt pretty crappy about it and I actually hid it (or at least tried to) from most of my family.  Sorry everyone.  I let you down.

Well, I have some good news.  No, this is not another I am going to quit smoking announcement.  I actually already quit.  My last cigar was back on 9 October 2011.  The day I wrote this post.  I went to work on the 10th and have not had one since.  Now before someone jumps on my nuts, yes, on a few occasions I have had a cigarette at a bar (not that many though).  See, the big thing I learned (I did this online quit smoking thing through work) was that you have to stay focused on quitting, you might slip up, but that is not cause to just give up.

The great thing has been that the last bunch of times I have went out for a beer, I have not really wanted to smoke (minus that night with Lindsey and Jason, where I got really drunk and tried to get one off the people as we were leaving, but Lindsey stopped me--yelled at me).  The biggest thing has been having Lindsey here to keep me motivated.  And maybe to reward me for going a month without one.  She bought me Thor on blu-ray after one month.

It has now been 114 days (I think my math is right) and I am quite proud of this achievement.  Unfortunately, I am not ready to stop there.  I have come to realize that I live an unhealthy lifestyle.  A few months ago I wanted to make changes, but I realized that I tried that before.  I was in the quitting smoking/working out/change diet phase.  Unfortunately, I failed at all of them.

Now that I am convinced that smoking is beat, I am moving on to phase two of my new plan:  quit drinking Mountain Dew.  Everyone tells me I will lose weight if I quit drinking it.  Some of you have no clue how much I drink in a single day.  It is a pretty scary sight.

My last Mountain Dew was on Sunday (30 January 2012).  I weighed myself today, I am at 187.6 pounds.  Yes, I am a fat bastard.  I plan on checking each and every Wednesday (Weigh-In Wednesday...how does that sound?) and let you folks know where I am weight-wise, and how I am doing so far without my favorite drink.  This is actually going to be harder than quitting smoking.  If I can do this, then it is time for phase three...