Showing posts with label space. Show all posts
Showing posts with label space. Show all posts

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Ancient Aliens is a ridiculous pack of lies

I've been meaning to write a longer post about the farcical "History" Channel show called Ancient Aliens. For now, though, I'll just post this brief note. I recently watched one of its most-viewed episodes, "Unexplained Structures", and having seen it, I want to make one thing perfectly clear:

Do not believe a single thing the people on that show say. They're lying.

While it's possible that some of them mean well and are just misguided, the overwhelming majority of them are deliberately misrepresenting the truth in order to sell you stuff. The genuine scientists on the show probably aren't lying, but frankly, I question the judgement of anyone who appears on that show and isn't a kook trying to sell you a magic healing stone.



Let's just take a few examples from that particular episode. Firstly, Göbekli Tepe, the prehistoric megalithic site in Turkey. It's a pretty impressive, even revolutionary archeological find, but that doesn't stop Alien Hair Guy and his buddies lying about it. For crying out loud, the Wikipedia page I just linked tells us that even though the show says the opposite, both flint stone-working tools and the quarry the rocks were cut from have been found at the site. So there's no mystery whatsoever to how it was constructed. By people. With tools. No extraterrestrials necessary for assembly.

Much of the rest of the episode is set firmly in woo-land, with the usual wild narrative hopscotch ("if so...") and straight-up nonsense like the vimana dude walking among the Carnac stones and talking about their mystical auras. The bit set in the Americas does contain one of my favorite Ancient Aliens lines ever, when one of the "experts" explains that some of the Inca stonework has been exposed to large amounts of "thermal heat". The best kind, really.

By the way, they seem to mean vitrified stone. In both this and a previous episode, Ancient Aliens seems to treat vitrification as something that happens when an alien shoots a ray gun at a stone block. In reality, it just means the stones were exposed to fire. It may have been done deliberately, although it actually weakens the stone. Now, stone age people might not know that, but surely the aliens would. In my mind, their suggestion that the Inca built using alien rock-melting technology is completely ridiculous. If you have what basically amounts to concrete and want to build a wall, certainly you'd build a mould of the wall and pour in the concrete, as opposed to molding thousands of different-sized stone blocks and fashioning a wall out of them. But never mind that, here's an Inca shaman with a censer, and he says woo.

But it's the already mentioned Carnac stones that bring us to the most fantastically stupid claim in the whole episode: Alien Hair Guy tells us they're one of only three objects on Earth that are visible from space. He lists the Carnac stones, the Nazca lines (a perennial Ancient Aliens favorite) and, of course, the Great Wall of China.

Now, once again, there's a Wikipedia page: Man-made structures visible from space. It will tell you, if you don't know already, that from any altitude where the Great Wall is visible, so are a whole bunch of other things. The same goes for the Nazca lines, and as for Carnac, well, look at them:



The individual stones are really quite small, and if they're that evanescent in an aerial photo, do you really think they're uniquely visible from space? The claim is totally absurd. Then again, that information and the picture are from Wikipedia, and if you're liable to believe Alien Hair Guy, you probably think Wikipedia is a reptilian disinformation operation. Like this blog. Boo!

In fact, I couldn't find any source for the notion that the Carnac stones are visible from space... except Alien Hair Guy. Mostly the claim appears in the exact same "one of only three objects" form he made it in. So he literally made that up. And that's really what this show is about: making stuff up. Specifically, inventing totally implausible claims with no regard for observable reality or even Wikipedia-level research. Since just about everything I've ever fact-checked from that show has turned out to be just lies, I frankly recommend no-one believe a thing that's said on it without double-checking it. Even better, don't watch the damn thing at all. Nothing they've ever presented has any merit, and the joke gets kinda old pretty quick. Real history is much more interesting, exciting and even, at times, mysterious than puerile "lol aliens" TV.



Ancient Aliens does take your mind to another dimension. Unfortunately, it's made up, and it sucks.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Six Kilotons

We're proud to announce this exclusive special preview of Bruce Springsteen's upcoming album Red Dust.


Here's an exclusive look at one of the tracks, a reimagining of the country classic Sixteen Tons. These are the new lyrics!

Six Kilotons

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Steel and circuits and a cyber jack
A mind that's a-weak and a plasteel back

You load six kilotons, what do you get
A Martian day older and deeper in debt
Space Peter don't you call me 'cos I can't go
I owe my soul to the corporation

I was born in the timeslip when the sun don't shine
Fired up my thrusters and flew to the mine
I loaded six kilotons of deuterium
And the straw boss said "Well, fiddle-dee-dum"

You load six kilotons, what do you get
A Martian day older and deeper in debt
Space Peter don't you call me 'cos I can't go
I owe my soul to the corporation

I was born in the timeslip on the Chryse plain
Fightin' and trouble are my middle name
I was raised in the arco by an ol' mama lion
Cain't no-a lo-grav woman make me walk the line

You load six kilotons, what do you get
A Martian day older and deeper in debt
Space Peter don't you call me 'cos I can't go
I owe my soul to the corporation

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died
One fist of flesh, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you
Then the left one will

You load six kilotons, what do you get
A Martian day older and deeper in debt
Space Peter don't you call me 'cos I can't go
I owe my soul to the corporation

**

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Can't explain that

As we all know, fundies say the darndest things. My personal favourite from the site is this gem by awesomestnerd:

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."



Yes, awesomestnerd, they certainly would.

Recently, conservative political commentator Bill O'Reilly offered his own contribution to science concerning the heavenly bodies, specifically the Moon.



From the LA Times blog The Big Picture:
"But when it comes to seeing the world through the wrong end of a telescope, no one tops Bill O'Reilly, who has been the butt of a thousand jokes after confronting an atheist on his show with irrefutable evidence of the existence of God--using as his evidence the fact that the tides come in and the tides go out. I mean, O'Reilly said with great certainty, who else could possibly be controlling that?"

When confronted with the more conventional explanation of the tides, O'Reilly went one level higher and speculated on the origin of the Moon.




All this has caused much hilarity on teh internets, and you too can participate in the meme with the handy MemeGenerator.

Here's our contribution: