Radley Balko and Russia Today

Chances are, you've seen activist Adam Kokesh and his buddies get arrested with unnecessary brutality at the Jefferson Memorial. If not, here's the video:

What you may not know is which channel this show runs on: Russia Today, nowadays known as RT. Described by the Guardian as "the latest step in an ambitious attempt to create a new post-Soviet global propaganda empire", RT is a TV channel funded almost entirely by the Russian government. In that same Guardian story, their then-editor-in-chief explains:

"I don't believe in unbiased views. Of course we take a pro-Russian position."

And they do. Here's the Independent on the topic:

Russia Today, an English language service, was set up in 2005 to present a perspective from Vladimir Putin’s government as a counterbalance to Western global news organisations such as CNN and the BBC. Its editor-in-chief Margarita Simonyan claims that the Russian state “doesn’t at all” interfere with the output of the network’s journalists.

But Shaun Walker, The Independent’s Moscow correspondent, disputes this. “It is untrue that the channel’s journalists are able to report on what they want to without editorial influence; while as time has gone on there have been more features on “negative” aspects of Russia, there is still a total absence of any voices criticising Prime Minister Vladimir Putin or President Dmitry Medvedev,” he says. “The channel’s coverage of Russia’s war with Georgia was particularly obscene. With Western TV networks hooked on a “New Cold War” headline and often not too well versed in the nuances of the region, there was a gap in the market for a balanced view of the conflict that explained Russia’s position. Instead, RT blasted “GENOCIDE” across its screens for most of the war’s duration, produced a number of extraordinarily biased packages, and instructed reporters not to report from Georgian villages within South Ossetia that had been ethnically cleansed.”

Indeed, one of their reporters resigned during the war in Georgia. Here's the Guardian:

Russians appear to be getting only one side of the story of the conflict in Georgia. According to a Moscow Times article, Russian television is showing the misery left by the Georgian assault in South Ossetia, but few, if any, reports mention Russia's bombing of Georgia.

After William Dunbar, a correspondent for the English-language state channel Russia Today, mentioned the bombing in a report on Saturday, his scheduled reports later that day were cancelled by the station. He said: "I felt that I had no choice but to resign."

He added: "I had a series of live, video satellite links scheduled for later that day, and they were cancelled. The real news, the real facts of the matter, didn't conform to what they were trying to report, and therefore, they wouldn't let me report it."

Of course, everyone knows how committed Russia is to the freedom of the press. The first Guardian article I quoted? Its author has since been expelled from Russia for no stated reason.

The idea for founding the channel seems to have come from former minister and Putin aide Mikhail Lesin, who wanted the channel to "polish Russia's international image". And they do, but not only by presenting Russian propaganda: part of their agenda is also to criticize Western countries.

For example, here's an RT reporter waxing lyrical over protests at the 2009 G20 summit in Pittsburgh:

RT: Who does this government consider an enemy?

The students were cornered, beaten, tear gassed, thrown to the floor and arrested – all for gathering inside a public park to express their political opinions.

This scene did not happen in a Third World country in the midst of a revolution. It occurred in Pittsburgh during the G20 Summit.

Of course, that very same year, a Gay Pride rally was held in Moscow. The rally was banned, and Moscow police had threatened the activists with "tough measures". When it went on anyway, police immediately arrested everyone present with "needless violence". Of course, that was better than some previous years when the police stood aside and let skinheads beat up the protesters.

You won't find any of this on RT: no reporters bemoaning the plight of the gay rights activists, let alone getting in amongst the demonstrators and writing harrowing first-person exposes of their arrest. No, on RT "Police disperse gay pride parade", without a hint of violence or impropriety. The channel unquestioningly accepts the official explanation for banning the marches, and under the sub-heading "A fight for gay rights or a farce?", goes on to lambast one of the organizers as a bully and a propagandist. Russia's embattled opposition gets similarly short shrift from RT, with no horror stories of police brutality.

Another topic that drew RT's ire is America's prison system. By contrast, read this Wikileaks cable or Amnesty International's report on Russia for some idea of what goes on over there; a topic you won't find any RT coverage on.

Finnish readers may be amused by the fact that notorious Finnish lunatic Johan Backman is a respected source for RT, quoted in stories like this one, which makes some hilariously over-the-top claims, including that in Finland, it's a crime to "criticize a legally operating organization". Their paraphrasing of what both Molari and Backman have said is also somewhat tenuously connected to reality. Molari and Backman are both rather well-known in Finland as extremists, and especially Backman is given fairly wide publicity in Russia because of his willingness to distort and exaggerate events in Finland in accordance with the Kremlin's propaganda line that Finland mistreats its Russian minority. That his views should be uncritically repeated by Russia Today speaks to the channel's ideology.

**

So a TV channel funded by the Russian government isn't exactly delivering objective journalism. Big surprise. It does raise some interesting questions, though, and to introduce them I'll promote a blog called The Agitator, by Radley Balko, a journalist and libertarian. I have great respect for the man as a chronicler of what I consider America's gradual evolution into a police state. His paper, Overkill: The Rise of Paramilitary Police Raids in America, is pretty much required reading for anyone interested in the topic. I read his blog regularly.

This May, Radley went on vacation and left us with a collection of guest bloggers. Most of them did well, even if it was a little odd when one of them felt that if we only divided ourselves into competing factions that identify themselves by differently colored uniforms, the world would be a better place. I thought we were already doing that. Another guest gleefully insulted a 17-year-old boy and expressed the fond hope that he would be assaulted in prison. These are just a couple of things that rankled me, though, and overall it was fine.

One of his guest bloggers, however, was RT's own Alyona Minkovski. Here's a clip from her show, which runs on RT:

As it happens, Radley's appeared on RT himself. As he explained, he went on RT "because they asked".

Now, I have a problem with this.

**

First of all, let me make absolutely clear that police brutality and the wholesale trampling of civil rights in America is reaching scary levels. Things like this, this and this are appalling, and so is the fact that the police will arrest you for dancing at the Jefferson Memorial. The fact that police brutality and abuse is much worse in Russia is no excuse for the Americans or anyone else.

My problem is RT and the nature of their coverage. It's pretty obvious that they use a whole different yardstick for events in the US and in Russia, and much of their reporting consists of regurgitated Kremlin propaganda. They do go to some lengths to disguise this as critical journalism, but it's fairly obvious that when it comes to Russian interests, propaganda takes over. So when someone like Radley Balko attaches themselves to a channel like this, by appearing on it and hosting one of its reporters on his blog, I have a real problem with it, because he's lending his credibility to a Russian state propaganda operation.

I fully understand that there are economic incentives, direct or indirect, as well as the obvious political ones, for publicizing one's cause as widely as possible. In this particular case, though, that publicity comes with giving good press to the Russian state's propaganda machine; in other words, helping the Kremlin project a totally false image of Russia to the world. It also raises troubling questions about Mr. Balko's ethics as a journalist, in that he's willing to attach himself and his name to a government propaganda operation, seemingly without second thoughts.

In my view, working with Russia Today, and even more so in letting Russia Today's employees broadcast themselves through his blog, Radley Balko has put a big question mark next to his name and his integrity as a journalist. To me, it's profoundly unethical to blithely co-operate with the propaganda organs of one of the most repressive states in the world and simultaneously cultivate an image of oneself as a libertarian human rights advocate.

To take just one example, Radley linked to the same Huffington Post piece I did above, on their questionable way of reporting an incident of police brutality in Washington, D.C. He doesn't seem to have a problem with it when RT glosses over Russian police brutality, though. In my books, that's hypocrisy.

Furthermore, I don't believe the people making shows for or otherwise directly working with Russia Today are exactly pursuing an agenda of human rights. Surely if they were concerned with police brutality and human rights, they wouldn't be working for the Russian government. So either they have a very limited definition of human rights that excludes, say, the Russian opposition parties and sexual minorities in Russia, or then they have a different agenda. What's certain is that the channel they're working for is pushing the Russian government's agenda, not a human rights one. And by letting its employees promote themselves and their channel on his blog, Mr. Balko is also taking part in the Russian government's information warfare, to the direct detriment of human rights in Russia.

It's a funny sort of libertarianism where you co-operate with one of the most repressive regimes in the world. I don't much care for it.

**

Last year, the Economist ran a piece on police brutality in Russia.

Cops for hire: Reforming Russia’s violent and corrupt police will not be easy

THEY shoot, beat and torture civilians, confiscate businesses and take hostages. They are feared and distrusted by two-thirds of the country. But they are not foreign occupiers, mercenaries or mafia; they are Russia’s police officers. The few decent cops among them are seen as mould-breaking heroes and dissidents.

Daily reports of police violence read like wartime bulletins. Recent cases include a random shooting by a police officer in a Moscow supermarket (seven wounded, two dead), the gruesome torture and killing of a journalist in Tomsk, and the case of Sergei Magnitsky, a young lawyer for an American investment fund. He was denied medical treatment and died in pre-trial detention in Moscow having accused several police officers of fraud.

American police brutality is alarming enough that I can't say it's nothing compared to what they do in Russia. Both countries' police forces at times terrorize their inhabitants like an occupying army. But having been to both countries, I'd still rather get arrested by American cops than Russian ones. Hell, I'd rather be raided by the Pima county SWAT team than by OMON. If American SWAT teams sometimes remind us of storm troopers, their Russian counterparts pretty much are the SS.

And one of the foremost critics of police brutality in America co-operates with their PR department.

FIA penalty system needs a re-think

Lewis Hamilton drove recklessly in last weekend's grand prix, colliding with both Felipe Massa and Pastor Maldonado and taking both of them out of the competition.

Autosport.com: Hamilton handed post-race penalty

Lewis Hamilton has been given a penalty for having caused a collision with Pastor Maldonado in the Monaco Grand Prix.

The Briton, who got his qualifying time deleted on Saturday and got a drive-through penalty for causing a collision with Felipe Massa during the race, was handed another drive-through post-race after his crash with Williams driver Maldonado.

The McLaren star was given the penalty after the race, which means 20 seconds were added to his final time. Hamilton keeps his sixth place despite the penalty.

Hamilton was very critical of the stewards after the race, labelling their decisions as a "joke".

"Out of six races, I've been to the stewards five times. It's a joke," Hamilton told the BBC. "It's an absolute frickin' joke."

He went on to blame the other drivers for his collisions with them. Once again, whatever happens to Lewis Hamilton is someone else's fault. For what it's worth, both penalties were well deserved: in neither case did Hamilton have a real shot at overtaking, but he tried to force his way through and caused a crash. If that isn't clearly against the rules, I don't know what is, but it isn't surprising that Hamilton, a hypocrite and long-time beneficiary of special treatment by the FIA, can't seem to understand that. I agree that this is a joke, but probably not the way he intended.

That isn't my point here, though. This has annoyed me before and it continues to do so now: Hamilton's drive-through penalty was converted, post-race, into a twenty second time penalty that didn't affect how he finished. I still can't grasp the thinking behind this. The stewards decided on the penalty after the race, knowing full well that it wouldn't affect the standings, because the seventh-place finisher was well over 20 seconds behind. This isn't the first time it's happened, either.

A penalty that doesn't have any effect isn't a penalty. In this case, as they've done before, the stewards are effectively choosing to not penalize Hamilton at all. I have a problem with this in general, no matter which driver it is, because effectively this means that if you commit a rule violation worthy of a drive-through penalty late enough in the race, there are no consequences. If the penalty is given early enough that it has to be served on the track, at least there's a chance that it'll affect the standings and the race; this way, nothing is accomplished.

These situations need to be handled differently; if a driver breaks the rules, they need to be penalized properly, not by changing a meaningless statistic. In this particular case, considering the reckless driving Hamilton was engaging in throughout the race, it's appalling that he won't be further penalized. Over the last few years, grid penalties have been handed down for much less. But not, of course, to Lewis Hamilton.

Radical Rats sentimentala jubileumskrönika

Bröl, slurp, garr och öuarh!

För ungefär två år sedan startade jag och Ab bloggen. Vi hade en vag vision om en plats där vi tilläts ventilera våra förhållandevis kontroversiella åsikter, men även frossa i spel, film, bröst, kvinnor, droger och allt annat som ligger oss om hjärtat. Allt detta mot en stilren och gentlemannamässig grund som till viss del tillät en gyllene dialog med andra internetanvändare med likvärdiga intressen. Platsen blev till slut det ni nu känner som Popped Collar. Efter en lång och omskakande resa med både högt belägna toppar och djupgående dalar står vi nu här, hundra inlägg senare och känner oss mer vitala och bröstälskande än någonsin förr.

Modellen för Poppeds världskända logotyp, som vi
tyvärr inte får avslöja namnet på av legala skäl...
En ledtråd är att han hade huvudrollen i Rocky IV.

Vi var två relativt olika personer på den tiden, men bloggen har fört oss närmare varandra än siamesiska tvillingar. Våra åsikter må gå isär ibland, men kamratskapen och lagandan sviktar aldrig. Jag kan tryggt påstå att jag känner Abs innersta kreativa tankar, likt han känner mina. Detta tillåter så klart en oerhört samspelt skrivanda, och när vi författar våra inlägg är vi som en enda, mästerlig person, vilket medfört texter av det slag som nobelpristagare i litteratur och vinnare av pulitzerpriset endast kan drömma om i sina vildaste fantasier. Mer än en gång har jag vaknat svettig om nätterna med en instinktiv känsla av att jag behövs, bara för att logga in på MSN och upptäcka att Ab upplevt ett behov av ett kreativt bollplank eller bara en broderlig klapp på axeln och löfte om att allt kommer att ordna sig. Att kreditera Popped Collar till en enda person är således totalt omöjligt, eftersom det är kombinationen av Rad Rats och Ab Aliens genialiska, kreativa sinnen som utgör bloggens yttersta väsen.

Vad finnes då i framtiden här på Popped Collar? Fortsättningen på året kommer sannerligen vara fantastisk, enär stora ting planeras för bloggen. Först och främst kommer vi bjuda på våra sedvanliga, intressanta inlägg om vad nu än faller oss in. Personligen har jag även planer på att genomföra och publicera en intervju med en av mina/våra absolut största idoler. Drömintervjun skulle så klart vara med Briana Banks, Joel Lawrence, Bobby Vitale eller någon av de andra stora vuxenstjärnorna. Förhandlingar pågår i skrivande stund, men endast tiden kan utdröna vad det slutgiltiga resultatet verkligen blir. Jag vet faktiskt inte vad Ab har planerat framöver, men det lär bli något i hästväg, som det alltid blir när den ständigt bortrövade utomjordingen är i svängen!

Kan stiliga Joel Lawrence eller vackra Briana Banks
måhända vara objekt för Poppeds kommande intervju?

The Return of Me

I realize I have been back for a few days now, but I was still on vacation mode and did not feel like posting anything.  I realize that today is Memorial Day and everyone is outside having cook outs and whatnot, but I am going to give you the highlights of the trip to North Carolina.

The Trip Down
We left Altoona on Saturday after I was done with work at 4:00, also we had to drop my car off to get inspected.  Our start time was sometime after 5:00.  We went for a few hours and then finally got so hungry that we had to stop outside of Winchester at the IHOP (I apologize Aunt Lori, I should have called, but it was pretty sudden when we decided to stop and eat). 

Lindsey drove the entire way down because I was so tired.  I managed to stay awake though and be the navigator.  I want to point out that Virginia feels like it never ends.  We finally made it to the house at about 3:30 a.m.  We went straight to bed because we were exhausted.

Beach Days
I forgot that I am no longer 18 and that because of The Place That Shall Not Be Named, and since I no longer see the sun, I need more than SPF 30.  I laid around reading and then playing bocci.  Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was pretty damn burnt.

My chest, knees, and feet were unbelievably burnt.  In fact, I am pretty sure my feet turned purple.  The next few days I had to wear a t-shirt on the beach and keep my feet covered up.

We went and purchased some SPF 75 after that, it definitely seemed to help.

The rest of the days on the beach were spent mainly reading or taking long walks.  Lindsey and I walked two miles south one day and then three miles north the next.  The beach there is not like Myrtle Beach or Ocean City.  There is not a boardwalk, plus since the beach is relatively small, there are not tons of things to do.  It is a very beautiful place and it would probably be a great place for a family vacation, or for a beach wedding (hey, that was why we were there).

Beach Nights
We went out to eat a few times at this place called Rick's.  It was pretty nice (it was supposedly a Steelers bar, but they also had other team stuff inside, especially a Ravens jersey), the food was really good.  I had this delicious Monte Cristo  with crab-meat.  Also, at this other place, Lindsey ordered scallops wrapped in bacon, which were slightly fried.  So damn good...everything should be wrapped in bacon.

Gather around children, it is time for a funny story.  I know you like funny stories.  On Tuesday night, we went out to this place called Lo-Rei-Lei's for karaoke.  Thad (the groom) and I played pool with these guys.  And this other dude started talking to us and buying us shots of Petron (I swear that stuff will be the death of me someday).  We head back to the house and I head to bed, very drunk (I honestly do not remember coming home or the last few moments at the bar). 

Apparently, I got up to piss and never came back to bed.  Lindsey looked for me, but I was nowhere to be found.  In the morning she hears people talking and goes up to find me on the pull out couch.  Unfortunately, another couple had been sleeping there.  I went up there and crawled in bed with them, but the funny thing is they did not know it.  The guy (Brett) put his arm around me and cuddled with me all night.  He woke up and kind of freaked out when he realized he was spooning a guy.  He yelled at me to get out of his bed and took the covers away, I guess I grabbed them back and rolled over to sleep.

Needless to say, I got made fun of pretty much the rest of the week for that one.  Oh well, I am pretty sure I have done that kind of thing before.  A couple of other nights, Lindsey and I went out on our own to have a few drinks.  And some of the others were spent at the house just relaxing.

The Wedding

Most of you know that I am not someone who thinks of weddings as beautiful or anything like that, but maybe it is me getting older (or maybe it has something to do with my beautiful girlfriend), but this wedding was very beautiful.  Also, I believe I have used the word beautiful in this post more times than all my other posts combined.  

I half expected Lindsey to trip coming down the steps, but she did a fantastic job.

The Return
We spent some more time at the beach on Friday, but I was starting to blister and getting lightheaded, so I went up to the house and took a cool shower.  I then packed up and after awhile, Lindsey came up and she got ready and we made our way back to Pennsylvania. 

Remember how I said Virginia felt like it lasted forever?  Well on the way back, I felt like we were never going to make it out of North Carolina.  The directions from Google Maps said we only had to go up this one road for 21 miles to hit the interstate, BULLSHIT!  We drove for about an hour, through some very undesirable areas (Mt. Olive is a scary town).  At one point, there were two guys out of their car about to fist fight.  So weird.

We left around 2:30 and made it home by about 1:30 (we stopped for dinner for about an hour).  As much fun as I had, I was ready to be home and in my own bed.  I woke up the next day and saw that my chest, shoulders, and arms were peeling like crazy.

Yesterday was the actual wedding reception up here in Pennsylvania and it was a great time.  We drank, we danced, we ate good food...

Below are some of the other pictures from the trip that I thought were cool:

I took this on the way down and it was of Lindsey with my phone on negative mode.  She looks like a zombie ready to eat me.  Very scary.

The first day there, I took this picture and did not realize the camera was still in negative mode.  Looked pretty cool though.

This is what the beach actually looked like.

This was Lindsey on the last day as we prepared to leave.  Doesn't she look hot?

Again, this is her before we leave.

This is the girls at the bar, pretty hot and pretty drunk.

We were pretty drunk at this point.

How funny is it that Brett had to escort Lindsey?  At the reception, during the bridle dance, I went up and danced with Brett, everyone had a great laugh.

Lindsey and the bride.

A bunch of pictures of us together.  We are such a hot couple.



This is a video of two of the guys in our group trying to sing Ice, Ice Baby.  They were pretty bad, but also funny since they just kept cracking up because the words went so fast.

Happy birthday Marie Fredriksson!

Today I get to say happy birthday, if only through the medium of a blog, to a woman who shaped my sexuality when I was growing up by being damn hot and fronting one of my all-time favorite rock bands: Roxette's Marie Fredriksson.

Several decades later, I'll be damned if she doesn't still look pretty good. (What's the polite way of saying "for a woman of her age"?)

Roxette are actually in the middle of a comeback, with a new album coming out and a tour! In the course of putting this blog post together, I found out they're coming to Finland this summer. One of my July weekends just got booked...

100 inlägg firas med buller och bigtitits

Kära kragpoppare!

Vi firar härmed det hundrade inlägget på Popped Collar, och gör detta genom att publicera ett gemensamt författat poem, en episk och nydanande berättelse om kärlek, hjältemod och sorg, som rör kring det som är närmast våra hjärtan. Vid tillfälle kommer både jag och Ab dessutom publicera varsin jubileumskrönika, så se till att ni håller ögonen öppna efter detta. Utöver det vill jag även, å mina och Abs vägnar, passa på att hjärtligt tacka er läsare för den hjärtvärmande lojalitet och det engagemang ni visat gentemot bloggen. Ni utgör ett synnerligen spektakulärt ljus i den annars så mörka verklighet vi alla vanligtvis lever i och som vi dagligen försöker undkomma. Jag anser att vi, här idag, lyckats bättre med detta än någonsin förr! Nåväl, det är dags att korka champagnen och ännu en gång poppa collarn.


Tänk er en värld utan kvinnor och kel
En framtid värre än de värsta JRPGs fel

Du skulle aldrig få se en välsvarvad bak
och bjuda in henne till en natt under ditt tak

Att placera ditt huvud i en rundad barm
och känna din fallos vara glödgande varm

Vetskapen om vad du kunnat få
lämnar ditt skrotum i en nyans av blå


Tänk er radikalfeministiska könsroller
och hur de skulle projiceras till era konsoler

Nej, Råttan skall aldrig låta det ske
ty då finns det ju ingen kvinna att tillbe

Kvinnan bör diska, suga och stå i
behagas ej mannen har han rätt att slå pli

Bör lyda likt får som vallas var dag
jag önskar bigtitits, min önskan är lag


En gång var Ab en bortrövad rymdman
Nu hindrar han mardrömmen från att bli sann

Med sin lojala råttbroder Rat
författas det opus natt efter natt

Tillsammans mäter de två tjog centimeter
och utsätter kvinnor för obsceniteter

Så hjälp oss genom att poppa kragen,
samtidigt som ni avtäcker kvinnobehagen

En bikinilös värld

Hell, och väl mött, kära jordlingar. Ab Alien har återvänt till galaxen, än en gång! Jag har mängder med makalösa berättelser att dela med mig av, men innan jag gör det, har jag något viktigt att förtälja. Känner ni till begreppet "BBW"? Om ni gör det, så gråter jag för er. Om inte, så bered er på att förlora den ungdomliga oskuld som ännu skiner i era ögon.

Jag ska berätta sagan om Carmella Bing för er. En skådespelare med ena foten i nöjesindustrin, så att säga. En gång i tiden var hon behaglig att skåda. En glädje att skåda, skulle man kanske till och med kunna säga. Åren har emellertid inte varit till damens fördel. Detta är resultatet av två googlesökningar:

Före:

Efter:

Notera att efter-bilden är extremt liten. Detta för att skona era ögon! Som ni märker är även jag barmhärtig då och då.

Nå, att det är ett remarkabelt förfall kan vem som helst se. Då är frågan: varför? Varför sker sådana förfall? Graviditet? Narkotika? Idioti? Oavsett svaret, så är det givetvis oacceptabelt. Ett så pass gravt disciplinärt brott är fel - i synnerhet när det handlar om en vacker kvinna.

Just mulli... förlåt, fetma, är något som jag brinner för. Brinner för att utrota. Fetma gör dig inte lycklig. Fetma gör inte att din kropp fungerar bättre. Du duger inte som du är, utan faktum är att du skulle vara betydligt mer duglig i en smal, vacker kropp. Du kan inte rå för ditt ansikte (särskilt mycket, i alla fall), men se för Råttans skull att din BMI ligger på en acceptabel nivå. Annars blir det inga bikinibilder!

Världens vackraste kvinna

Var hälsade, mina råttbarn! Rad Rat är efter ännu ett årslångt hiatus tillbaka och bjuder på ett särdeles inspirerat inlägg säkerligen värt all väntan i världen!

För några dagar sedan hade jag oråttlikt tråkigt och såg Fantastic 4 för andra gången. Det är självklart en ganska usel film, men ändå med ett visst underhållningsvärde, om än ett väldigt lättsamt sådant. Datoranimationerna är så pass nedriga att underhållningen faktiskt kan krediteras till en enda person. Det är så klart inte vilken person som helst. Jag talar om Jessica Alba, en av de mest perfekta kvinnor som existerar idag, vilket säger ganska mycket med tanke på Rad Rats extremt höga krav på det motsatta könet. Alba har länge existerat i mitt råttmedvetande, och på sätt och vis varit det nav som uppskattningen av andra kända skönheters kroppar kretsat kring och mer eller mindre omedvetet jämförts med.

Första gången jag kom i okulär (jag vill skriva oral) kontakt med Jessica Alba var när den vedervärdiga kanalen "TV4" sände repriser av serien Dark Angel på bästa sändningstid, alltså mitt i natten. Dark Angel var den då 19-åriga Albas första riktiga huvudroll och trots att jag redan på den tiden ansåg att serien var värdelös fortsatte jag under följande veckor att skåda avsnitt efter avsnitt under nätterna. Liksom i Fantastic 4 lyckades fröken Alba hålla mig och många andra män (samt kvinnor?) i ett grepp lika fast som hennes makalösa bakdel, trots uselheten och det faktum att hon inte ens är en speciellt bra skådespelerska.

Under Dark Angel-tiden. Hon var så klart
glödhet redan här, dock kanske inte på
det där gudinneliknande viset riktigt än.

Efter att serien haft sin gång på TV4 följde en skuggperiod under ett par år. Jag skymtade kvinnan här och där, men tänkte inte så mycket på saken. Detta kom att förändras drastiskt och blåsa upp den fysiska besattheten till oanade, nästintill fanatiska höjder. Året var 2005 och jag bevistade en luciavaka på stadens största biograf, där tre filmer hade smygpremiärer under natten. Första filmen som visades hette Into the Blue. I en makalös scen som inträffar tidigt i filmen bjuds betraktaren på extremt vackra undervattenmiljöer och framför allt en rad skamlösa vyer på en snorklande och åmande Jessica Alba i en tillräckligt minimal bikini, ackompanjerad av drömsk, gladlynt musik. Jag minns att hela publiken, män som kvinnor, var i extas och folk ställde sig upp och jublade under dånande applåder mitt i filmen. Givetvis var filmen ett skämt i övrigt, men fallosen var återigen väckt. För evigt denna gång.

Paul Walker kan självklart inte hålla händerna borta från Albas spektakulära assits
under den mysiga undervattensscenen. För att citera honom själv angående den
ökända grabbningen: "I was like, well just look at that sweet ass, man!"

I följderna av Into the Blue var Jessica med i en uppsjö filmer. Nämnda Fantastic 4 kom samma år, och hade en blond, blåögd variant av Alba som kändes ny och exotisk. Rollen som strippa i Sin City, också den utkommen 2005, var även den minnesvärd. I takt med det ökande kändisskapet kunde jag oftare och oftare bjudas på ett litet fragment av skönheten i vardagen, vilket ibland kunde utgöra en liten ljusglimt i en annars dyster och grå dag. En slags övermättnad följde naturligt under denna period. Den ursprungliga chocken hade sedan länge lagt sig, och kvar fanns en slags belåtenhet. Ungefär som när den ursprungliga kemin i ett romantiskt förhållande och de florerande signalsubstanserna som hör till det lagt sig och lämnar efter sig något som (i de bästa och ovanligaste av fall) mer kan liknas vid en vänskap. En mogen, hälsosam uppskattning av en av universums vackraste kvinnors fysik, helt enkelt.

Senare kom graviditeten, och "man" gick från sukta efter Alba till att nästintill undvika hennes framträdanden. Som vi alla vet är en gravid kvinna inte det hetaste, och de tenderar också att lägga på sig ett antal fettlager både under och efter graviditeten, vilket oroade mig en aning. Oron visade sig vara obefogad när Jessica klämde ur sig ungen och återtog sin extremt slimmade fysik nästintill direkt efter. Hon var om möjligt ännu "tajtare" vid detta lag, vilket hon bevisade med några ångande scener i Robert Rodriguez film Machete.

Den här duschscenen förekommer i Machete. Det verkar nästan för
bra för att vara sant, eller hur? Det stämmer också. Alba var nämligen
inte alls naken under inspelningen, utan hade på sig vita underkläder
som sedan raderades i en dator under efterproduktionen.

Jag anser fortfarande att Jessica Alba är en av världens vackraste kvinnor, även i sitt nuvarande utförande. Nu finns dock betydligt hårdare konkurrens än det gjorde för bara några år sedan, anser undertecknad. Jag kommer gå in närmare på dessa extremt fantastiska konkurrenter i framtida inlägg, så håll ögonen öppna och se till att besöka Popped Collar med jämna mellanrum, gott folk! Min gamle vapendragare Ab kommer inom kort att posta ett inlägg som lär vara minst lika fantastiskt som detta, om jag känner honom rätt. Jag vill passa på att önska er en fortsatt trevlig dag eller natt och tacka för att ni givit upp lite tid från er vardag för att läsa om min lilla febless. Jag avslutar kort och gott med en ganska talande bild, som sig bör:

Jessica Alba är unik eftersom hon är snyggare innan
retuscheringen än efter. Hon är sannerligen världens
vackraste kvinna!

Kylie Minogue: still hot

Today is Kylie Minogue's 42rd birthday. Here's some pictures of her from this year.

Still hot. Happy birthday!

Game review: Harms Way

Here's an XBox Live Arcade game that everyone needs to get. If only because it's totally free.

Harms Way is a really sweet little Live Arcade game where you play as either a shooter or a driver. There are four teams, one shooter and one driver each. The drivers race their cars around a circuit with the first one to complete three laps winning; the shooters jump from turret to turret and shoot them, with the one destroying the most cars winning. The winning shooter and winning driver get the most points, and the team with the most combined points wins.

The single player or split-screen co-op is fun enough, but when you take it online, it gets really sweet. We've spent a good part of the past week in Harms Way's online multiplayer...

Seriously, you can download the full game for free. Do that. It kicks ass.

Over-the-Top, So-So Funny Hangover 2

The Verdict: 

MAYBE SEE...

REVIEW: 

So The Wolfpack--- Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, The Hangover) are back!

This time, the boys get hungover in Bangkok (and yes, the city's name is definitely joked upon sooner or later).

But unlike in the instant 2009 classic comedy The Hangover that provides unbelievably non-stop hilarity--- the sequel, though funny (but more so-so)--- expectantly falls short.

Part II of The Hangover is so over-the-top that it may just give you a headache trying to keep up with all the insaneness happening.

The Hangover: Part II is pretty much The Hangover: replacing Stu now getting married a la Doug, Alan drugging the gang with his medication instead of roofies, the tiger with a monkey (who sells drugs by the way and is... gay...), the baby with an old man monk in a wheelchair, Stu's missing tooth with a face tattoo and of course Vegas with Bangkok. *SPOILERS: New comic gimmicks include: someone loses a finger (Stu's fiancee's brother), Stu very very very drunkingly has sex with a male prostitute and Phil gets shot (really just grazed by the bullet).*

Part II is a lot more raunchy than the first (there's a lot of full frontal male nudity!), the "F" word flies around like crazy--- and contains one too many jokes that are political incorrect (think race). These additions don't make HO2 any funnier, just uncomfortable.

The original Hangover was a lot more simpler compared to Part II and it was a lot funnier because.

The colorful Chow (Ken Jeong) and Mike Tyson reunites with The Wolfpack which is great--- their roles, especially Chow's--- bring the "Oomph!"

The addition of Stu's fiancee's little brother Teddy was unnecessary. He didn't add anything. Instead of him being the one to get misplaced, it would make more sense for one of The Wolfpack to--- Stu particularly--- or Doug next--- since he was oddly missing for most of H20.

Paul Giamatti's (Sideways, Lady in the Water) character was another unnecessary character--- a gangster (Chow's "replacement")--- although necessary for what happens to a main character in the end.

If you are a die-hard lover of The Hangover--- definitely go see The Wolfpack back in action. 

If not, skip Part II because you will not die of laughing like from the original.

There's supposedly talk of a The Hangover: Part III... 

Triple the laughter? Or triple the aspirin!

***

New Movies Playing!

The Hangover Part II

What's It About?

The Wolfpack--- Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug--- are back getting hungover--- this time, in Bangkok, Thailand.

 

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810187722/video

PREDICTION:
"It looks funny of course! But will it out top the original The Hangover? I doubt it. HO2 has pretty much the same plot as HO but the Wolfpack is now in Thailand. A teenage boy and a monkey join the pack--- which could make things especially funny. Mike Tyson and 'the asian gangster's'  return should be hilarious to see. I don't think the Hangover shouldn't have gotten a sequel--- the first was a classic alone--- but a part two was of course inevitable. Hopefully H20 will keep the laughs coming like the original HO."

*

The Tree of Life

What's It About?

A man's journey--- from his boyhood to adulthood--- as he seeks the answer to the meaning of life.

 

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810022079/video

PREDICTION:
"It looks very very interesting--- abstract and puzzling--- and visually great! I'm curious to see how Brad Pitt's performance turns out as the lead character."

* 

We Are the Night

What's It About?

A loner teen is bitten by the leader of a chic threesome vampire clique becoming a part of their world.

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810200508/video

PREDICTION:
"It looks very cool and sexy! An all girl vampires plot is a nice, racy treat!"

*

Kung Fu Panda 2

What's It About?

The second installment of the animated Kung Fu Panda--- about animals who can kung fu.

 

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810090593/video

PREDICTION:
"It looks uninteresting--- but Kung Fu Panda fans and anyone under 13 probably will disagree."

***

E N J O Y
*the*
M O V I E S

***

Best New Movie Poster of the Week

(Official poster of upcoming movie The Tree of Life.)

WHY THIS POSTER IS GREAT!:

*Images from the film placed in snapshot manner.

(Alternate poster of upcoming movie The Tree of Life.)

WHY THIS POSTER IS GREAT!:

*The single tree--- playing on the film's title.

*The tagline.

 

(Alternate poster of upcoming movie The Tree of Life.)

WHY THIS POSTER IS GREAT!:

*The up-close shot of a baby's foot and someone holding it.

(Alternate poster of upcoming movie The Tree of Life.)

WHY THIS POSTER IS GREAT!:

*The up-close shot of Brad Pitt's character as a father, staring fascinated at his child.

***

Policing the Internet in Europe

First of all, the Matti Nikki saga continues in Finland. I wrote about it years ago, and here's a press release from Electronic Frontier Finland back in 2008 explaining the whole thing. In brief, Internet activist Matti Nikki runs a website that criticizes the Finnish and EU authorities' inefficient anti-child pornography actions. For this, his Finnish site, which doesn't contain pornography, was censored by the Finnish police under a law that allows censorship of foreign child porn websites.

Just last week, the Helsinki administrative court decided that the police were wrong to censor Nikki's site and ordered it removed from the block list. Bizarrely, they maintained that while the intent of the law was clearly to censor foreign websites that contain child pornography, the police couldn't have understood the law, and are therefore not to blame. In my Finnish-language post on the topic, I linked to Radley Balko's summation:

When I’ve written about the arrests of citizens who record or photograph cops over the last couple years, I’ve repeatedly pointed out the double standard that exists when it comes to ignorance of the law. Citizens are expected to know every law. Break one, and you suffer the consequences. Ignorance is no defense, even when it comes to vague, obscure, or densely-written laws. But when law enforcement officials—the people we pay to enforce the criminal code—when they prove to be ignorant of the law, when they illegally detain, arrest, and jail someone based on a mistaken understanding of the law, they rarely if ever suffer any consequences.

The same standard operates here, as we now have a decision from our administrative court that effectively releases the police from any culpability for misinterpreting a law. The court entirely failed to address the fact that the censorship constitutes an attack on Nikki's constitutionally guaranteed freedom of speech. In my opinion, the sole reason Nikki's website was extralegally censored was his criticism of the Finnish authorities. The cops have just been let off the hook for that.

**

Meanwhile, in Germany, the police are taking a hand in the general elections:

Falkvinge.net: German Pirate Party’s Servers Confiscated In Police Raid — Two Days Before Election

Around lunch today, the German Pirate Party (Piratenpartei) sent out an alarming tweet that spread like wildfire. “Our servers are offline due to police intervention. Do not panic, this is our turn. More information to follow.” The German police had taken the Piratenpartei out — two days before general elections in a state in Germany.

Apparently, the French police force had asked its German counterpart to secure evidence in an investigation that was not related to the Piratenpartei, and some of this information was on one of the Piratenpartei’s servers. Rather than accepting assistance from the Piratenpartei in securing this particular piece of information, the police instead chose to seize the entire server farm and take it offline.

Doing this to a democratic party — Germany’s sixth largest, actually — two days before an election is nothing short of a democratic sabotage.

I have nothing to add. You'd think that in Germany, of all countries, they'd be a little leery of sending in the storm troopers to suppress a political party, but I guess not.

Happy birthday Ruslana!

By a curious coincidence, today is Eurovision Song Contest winner Ruslana Stepanivna Lyzhychko's birthday! By our verdict, Lena's Satellite is the best Eurovision Song Contest winner ever, and Ruslana's Wild Dances comes in second:

She's a Eurovision winner, and a former member of parliament for Ukraine who participated in the Orange Revolution which successfully overturned a rigged election. Not to mention the fact that she's hot, and along with Sage from GTA:SA, she's our favorite Grand Theft Auto radio host.

Happy birthday!