Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Comic Book Characters Should Play Baseball: DC Edition

The other day I was thinking about comic book characters and how silly it is that all of these characters become heroes/villains when they realize they have some kind of power or ability.  If I found out that I had enhanced strength or something, I would probably go into professional sports.  Much easier to make millions.

I started to wonder which comic book characters would make the best baseball players.  I decided to only use the humans who had minor enhancements.  Obviously Superman would destroy a baseball.  And yes, the Flash would just tap the ball and make it home in under a second.  People would probably notice they were a little different.

Shortstop
Remember the days before Alex Rodriguez played for the Yankees?  Or before he took performance enhancing drugs?  He was a big guy, who could hit and play his position.  He was quick, agile, and powerful.  Who does that sound like?

Batman is 6'2, 210 lbs. and is a master in multiple forms of martial arts.  He would be amazing in the field.  Throwing batarangs probably means he would be pretty accurate throwing to first from awkward positions.  Oh, and he is big and strong, and could probably be a 40 HR type guy.

Second Base
You need someone quick at second, who can help turn those tricky double plays.  Well if Batman is at SS, then you would definitely want Robin at second.  Obviously I mean Tim Drake.  He was my favorite Robin.  Tim is listed at only 5'1, 115 lbs, but I think he may have grown a little bit.  Anyways, he would have the quickness to make those turns and throws to first.

Also, since he loves to use his bo staff, he would probably be a great slap hitter.  I could imagine him being more like Ichiro, high average and a ton of stolen bases.

Third Base
This is one of the positions where you want some serious power.  This is the character that got me thinking about this whole post.  Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke.  He has enhanced abilities:  strength, agility, reflexes, and a healing factor.

This guy is a mercenary, but he could easily make a crap-load of money hitting 50 HRs per year and also hitting around .400.  If Albert Pujols or A-Rod can get over $200 million (I am sure Pujols will get that kind of money), Slade would probably be even higher paid.  Plus, his extra abilities would not be noticeable as long as he did not jump twenty feet into the air or something.

Oh, and with that healing factor, he could probably break Cal Ripken's consecutive game streak.

First Base
This is another one of those big, power-hitter type positions.  You would someone who is a big target for the other infielders to throw too, but also someone who can just crush a baseball.

Bane would make a great first baseman.  He is 6'8 and as long as he does not overdo it on the Venom, he would not look a muscle-bound freak.  Just use it on occasion and keep belting out HRs, probably would strikeout a few times though.  He would be like Adam Dunn.

Luckily, as of now, MLB does not test for Venom.  If they did, Bane could be banned for a few games.  Although, he has stopped using it in comics, to get started in baseball, while growing up in the Caribbean, I am sure he would have been juicing. 

Center Field
When you think of a center fielder, you want someone who is a natural athlete, and very fast.  They usually have a lot of ground to cover.  Well, who better than Nightwing?  He is built almost exactly like Andrew McCutchen.

Dick Grayson was a fantastic gymnast and acrobat long before he met Batman.  That kind of thing probably would come in handy when making ridiculous catches.  Also, he probably has a cannon from throwing batarangs and whatnot.  I picture him as .300 hitter, who steals about 30-50 bases per year.  Not a huge HR guy, maybe 15 to 20, but probably a fantastic gap hitter.

Left Field
Here is another one that has super powers, but those could easily be hidden.  Animal Man could play left field.  He could summon the speed and power of any animal he wanted.  As long as he does not overdo it, he could become one of the greats out there.

I picture him putting up numbers similar to CarGo last year.  35-40 HRs, 40-50 SBs, an average around .350.  Yeah, people would probably remember Buddy Baker as a player more than they remember him as a superhero.

Right Field
You want an amazing athlete out there who can throw the ball to third base and home on a rope.  Who would be better than Mr. Terrific?  The dude has won the Olympic gold medal in the decathlon and has multiple black-belts.

I bet he would put up a .300 average, hit about 25-35 HRs, and probably gun down about 15 guys a year trying to tag up on him.  The guy just seems to excel at whatever he does.

Catcher
This is such a tough position because most people do not realize how difficult it can be.  Also, there are so many different types of catcher.  Personally, I look for a good defensive catcher.  The abilities you want in that kind of catcher are quick reflexes.  People forget that a catcher has about the same amount of time to react to a pitch as the hitter.  If his pitcher misses his target, there is not a lot of time to move the body to make the catch.

Captain Boomerang Jr (Owen Mercer) would be perfect.  He is an expert at throwing objects, so he could probably throw out a good amount of runners, plus he has a little bit of super-speed, which means he can probably use that to slow down the rest of the world.  A runner stealing second would not distract him as the pitch is coming in.  Plus, he could use a little bit of that speed to allow him to steal bases.  I could see him racking up somewhere around 60-100 SBs in a season, probably have a huge OBP with all of his walks since he can slow the world down and know if a pitch is a ball or strike. 

Pitchers
If you want a good starting staff, you might as well look no further than the Green Arrow and his family.  Ollie, Roy, and Connor are all expert marksmen.  Using a bow makes a person have a very strong arms and chest.  They could easily become a pitcher with that kind of skill-set.  You might as well add Merlyn to that mix as well.  Instead of becoming an assassin, why not make millions throwing a baseball?
 And what about a late inning reliever?  How about Hourman?  The dude could just pop one of his Miraclo pills and be a hard throwing closer for about an hour.  He could be a two inning closer as long as it does not take more than an hour.

Alright, well that is it for this installment.  Next time I will look at some Marvel characters.

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