the crazies come out on halloween

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERY ONE!!!

I might be a little bit old for this but i have been waiting all week for this day! I absolutely adore stuffing my face with ice cream, and candy, and anything sweet. The same thing has happened since i was a little kid; I eat and eat and eat while every one around me is trying to tell me to slow down. Of course i dont listen, until the next day when im sitting infront of the toilet throwing up the pounds of candy i somehow forced down my throat.

Every one has seen that scream costume. The one that every single latino kid has worn once in his life. Well i cant stand those. They really truly scare me. THEY ARE UNESCAPABLE!!!!

mariachi funky disco

I like electronic music, but i adore mariachi even more. I guess its just the latin part of me that gets all worm inside. I would have never thought of mixing the two together, until i heard Nortec Collective play at the sunset junction. I fell in love! I was recently listening to them and i couldnt help but want to dance while juggling a burrito in one hand and dancing quebraditas.

Hot Chicks Who Play Synths

Everyone loves hot chicks. Even other chicks love hot chicks, regardless of sexual preference. But what’s better than hot chicks? Hot chicks who play hot fuckin synths. Nothing gets me goin’ like a total babe laying down some fat synth bass that just destroys. That’s why I salute these two ladies in the first edition of this series of blogs: Hot Chicks Who Play Synths.

First up: Emily Haines of synth-pop-rock band Metric. Not only is she a total blonde babe that is reminiscent of Blondie herself, but she plays a fucking SCI PRO ONE!!! One of the fattest analog bass synths ever made, this monster of a synth is a toal classic and it does my heart good to see some analog synthesis going on during the show.

Next: Nancy Whang of LCD Soundsystem and The Juan Maclean! This babe is for you if you dig the Asian persuasion but she also rocks three synths AND an MPC during LCD shows! She really knows her way around the knobs and those babies. If she weren’t laying down hot synth lines for LCD, their shows would sound empty without her, and for that, we honor you through this post!

By Evan Gall

Die reinste freude ist die schadenfreude

This is one of my favorte german frazes. It means "our purest joy comes from seeing people we envy get hurt".

We all know that we feel some sort of satisfaction when someone we envy tripps and falls. No matter how nice you are, you are familiar with this feeling.

I remember being in elementery school, and seeing this girl with the new my little pony. She was brushing its pink tail. At that very moment she got up, she tripped and fell on a banana peel. I was concerned and helped her up but i know that deep down inside i was smiling.

"another one of those days"

Many things are terrible, two of those include Uggs and crocks.

I'm not sure which is worse, but they both seem equally bad.

Ive been looking for a part time job every where. You know the kind that pays next to nothing, and is all together boring. I haven't found a single thing!

A few days ago i stumbled on to a shoe fetish add. People will pay you a lot of $$$ if u send them your old dirty shoes and a pic of your feet. It seems like a quick way to make cash, but totally degrading. I don't know if i should do the shoe thing or get a respectable job that pays horribly.

(I love you emma)

The hour of chaos

Today, I'm going to prison for refusing to complete my military service. My reasons are in my previous post. I'll be gone for some four months, so I'll be back in February. In the meantime, my co-bloggers will be looking after this blag.

Anyone who wants to get in touch with me during my jail time will have to use good, old-fashioned snail mail. The address is Jokelan vankila, PL 20, 05401 Jokela. Other information on the Jokela prison web page, such as it is.

See you all in February.

"nobody in this shit hole gets me because i don't put out"

"We don't put out!"
My favorite character in my absolute favorite movie is Chorinne Burns, who lives by this quote, and many others including; don't get screwed. Although her band, the stains sucked, her crazy outfits and skunk like hair was awesome. If i could be like any one i would want to be like her. Shes one girl you wouldn't want to fuck with. Lady's and gentleman the fabulous stains also stars Steve Jones and Paul Cook (of the sex pistols), Paul Simonon (of the clash), Vince Welnick (of the tubes), and Barry Ford.

A parting hockey thought

So, this is the new-look Maple Leafs team. Like The Star told us way back in November 2008:

Brian Burke, after being introduced as the 13th general manager of the Maple Leafs, promised that his team – and it is very much that now – will evolve into a pull-no-punches, in-your-face squad, an approach reflective of the guy now calling the shots.

"We require, as a team, proper levels of pugnacity, testosterone, truculence and belligerence. That's how our teams play," said Burke.

That's a funny word, truculence. Let's see what the dictionary says:

truculent (comparative more truculent, superlative most truculent)
1. Of things or persons that are cruel or savage
2. Deadly or destructive.
3. Defiant or uncompromising.
4. (hockey) 0-5-1.

The new Leafs? Same as the old Leafs.

What should i wear???

A friend invited me to an anarchists meeting. Im really curious what they are like but i have no idea what to wear. Im pretty sure they just bitch about everything. im pretty good at that.

I think full on leather is the way to go. Probably with some t shirt that sais Fuck the government. Leather over the knee boots are super in and i bet my pair would be perfect for this event.

im blowin ur mind like a poisonus mushroom

Vanilla ice would kick Lil Wayne's ass in a rap battle no matter how much he looks like a predator.

What the fuck happened to rap? It use to be about surviving in the hood, respect, and what not.

Now all you hear on the radio is douche bags talking about Ferrari's, gold chains, big houses, and girls with big asses. If these guys where so "hood" i doubt they'd let some record company scam them out of half of their own income. Rappers should stick to what they know best, instead of singing in annoying robot like voices.

A more conservative Bible

To start off, an unrelated trivia question: which single disease costs Western society the most to treat?

Tooth decay. From the Cambridge journal Public Health Nutrition:

Dental diseases, particularly dental caries, are the most expensive part of the body to treat. Caries is indeed the most expensive human disease in terms of direct costs. For example, the direct costs of caries treatment in Germany was 20.2 billion, CVD 15.4 billion DM, diabetes 2.3 billion DM.4. In West Germany, the cost of dental care was 10.3% of the health budget in 19945.

**

And if that didn't blow your mind, this will.

Globe and Mail: Group of U.S. conservatives rewrite the Bible

After all these years, one could assume the Bible has held up pretty well, but a group of conservatives in the United States thinks it needs a rewrite.

The folks behind Conservapedia, a right-leaning version of Wikipedia, have launched the Conservative Bible Project, aimed at getting rid of what they call liberal bias, wordiness, emasculation and a general dumbing down of the Old and New Testaments.

A dozen or so users, led by Conservapedia founder Andy Schlafly – the son of conservative political activist Phyllis Schlafly – are tackling the 27 books of the New Testament and 39 books of the Old Testament. Anyone can offer suggested changes.

Just read the article. I could quote all of it.

Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing." [1]

That article is PROOF.

**

Conservapedia's own project page is, if possible, even more hilarious. Here's some excerpts, retrieved 20091012. All boldface in the original.

Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations. There are three sources of errors in conveying biblical meaning are, in increasing amount:
* lack of precision in the original language, such as terms underdeveloped to convey new concepts introduced by Christ
* lack of precision in modern language
* translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.

Experts in ancient languages are helpful in reducing the first type of error above, which is a vanishing source of error as scholarship advances understanding. English language linguists are helpful in reducing the second type of error, which also decreases due to an increasing vocabulary. But the third -- and largest -- source of translation error requires conservative principles to reduce and eliminate.

So there you have it. According to Conservapedia, not only is the media biased toward liberals, and Wikipedia, but even the Bible is contaminated by liberal bias. Here's some of the "ten commandments" they suggest for rescuing the Word of God from liberals:

Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

There you go! The Bible isn't conservative and free market oriented enough. This must change.

Also, "liberal wordiness"?

Here's one of their own examples:

Third Example - Socialism

Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification. This improperly encourages the "social justice" movement among Christians.

For example, the conservative word "volunteer" is mentioned only once in the ESV, yet the socialistic word "comrade" is used three times, "laborer(s)" is used 13 times, "labored" 15 times, and "fellow" (as in "fellow worker") is used 55 times.

As a translator myself, I don't know how to start explaining how wrong this is. Their problem isn't how a given Greek or Hebrew word is translated, but whether the word it is translated into is "liberal" or "conservative". Astonishing.

Father
Yes, you can't beat wood ... Gorn!
Mother
What's gorn dear?
Father
Nothing, nothing, I just like the word. It gives me confidence. Gorn ... gorn. It's got a sort of conservative quality about it. Gorn. Gorn. Much better than `newspaper' or `litterbin'.
Daughter
Frightful words.
Mother
Perfectly dreadful.
Father
Ugh! Newspaper! ... litterbin ... dreadful liberal sort of words. Lib, lib, lib.

The daughter bursts into tears.

Mother
Oh, dear, don't say `lib' to Rebecca, you know how it upsets her.
Father
(to the daughter) Sorry old horse.
Mother
Sausage!
Father
Sausage ... there's a good conservative sort of word, `sausage' ... gorn.
Daughter
Antelope.
Father
Where? On the lawn? (he picks up a rifle)
Daughter
No, no, daddy ... just the word.
Father
Don't want an antelope nibbling the hoops.
Daughter
No, antelope ... sort of nice and conservative type of thing.
Mother
Don't think so, Becky old chap.
Father
No, no, `antelope', `antelope' -- liberal sort of word (the daughter bursts into tears) Oh! Sorry old man ...

"We'll have him in our Bible."

[2]

**

The staggering fact is that Poe's Law works here. I know this is an actual Conservapedia page, and I've read the article in the Globe and Mail where they actually interview Schlafly about the project. So I know this isn't a parody.

But still, when I read the actual project page, the whole thing is so incredibly preposterous that I can't quite convince myself it isn't a parody. They're really proposing creating a "new translation" of the Bible, not by retranslating it, but by rewriting the English text to conform to their ideology.

You really can't make fun of these people at all.

Interview with Ben and Evan. A real mans perspective.

I wanted to start my first blog by digging deep into the complicated minds of my two good friends, Evan and Ben. They are both very attractive and intelligent guys who spend all there time beating the ladies off with a stick. They wear leather and DJ. What could be better. I interviewed them about love and girls.

Q: Hi guys! So I have been wondering this for a while. You guys have all the girls on your nuts, Do you prefer playing the field or going out with one person seriously?

Ben: It all depends, if its a special person like evan, then I want him for the long run. (he thinks for a couple of seconds) Never mind id rather play the field.

Q: Haha! Thats quite interesting. Would you prefer getting baked goods, flowers, or or underwear from a girl?

Evan: Baked goods! My grandmothers an insane baker. Cookies are pretty bomb.

Ben: If it looks like shit, i dont want it. If it doesnt then ill eat it. Im talking about baked goods. Theres nothing you can really do with underwear. Im not one of those creeps.

Q:Would you find it hot if megan fox was laying down naked on top of a synth?

Evan: That would be interesting. Yes, i would. Im not sure shed fit.

Q:Blond or Brunette?

Evan: brunette.

Ben: It all depends on ethnicity. I like the chick on modern family. (he points down) It doesnt discriminte....

Q: Beyonce or Rhianna?

Evan: Beyonce. Rhiannas a skinny bitch.

Ben: Beyonce! Have you seen her legs? Oh my God! shes like a godess! And that ass...

Q: Wow you really like Beyonce. If you had to go out with a man who would it be and why?

Ben: I dont want to sound cliche, but Brad Pitt. Although i didnt like his long blond hair in troy. He has nice pecks. Actually Tom Cruise because HE KNOWS HOW TO SUCK. I could be the man in that relationship.

You what?

It's starting to feel like bemused incredulity should be the name of this blog.

BBC: Obama wins 2009 Nobel Peace Prize

US President Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.

The Nobel Committee said he was awarded it for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples".

I saw the headline and I thought this has to be a joke.

What efforts? Pretty speeches? Idealistic statements? What, exactly, has Barack Obama actually done to advance world peace? Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I thought it was ridiculous when Al Gore won the Peace Prize for doing a shoddy mockumentary on climate change, but this is even worse. The Nobel Peace Prize is now officially a complete joke.

You have got to be kidding me

This is unreal.

Guardian: Treasury plan to force banks to lend in poorer communities

Plans to force Britain's banks to pump money into poor communities in exchange for their massive taxpayer bailouts are being drawn up by the Treasury, a senior minister has revealed.

Liam Byrne, chief secretary to the Treasury, said last week that the time was ripe to consider a UK version of America's Community Reinvestment Act, introduced in the 1970s to prevent banks abandoning deprived areas.

The CRA has resulted in American banks lending billions of dollars in rundown inner-city districts, and, with public anger at the activities of financial institutions running high, Byrne said he was actively considering a similar scheme for Britain.

"It is an interesting idea, which we are exploring earnestly at the Treasury," he told a fringe meeting at last week's Labour conference in Brighton.

The chief secretary added that there were two issues that worried him and his Treasury team – the lack of any hard evidence that particular communities were being frozen out by the British banking industry, and concerns that CRA-induced lending to poor households in the US had triggered the sub-prime crisis.

"These are serious questions for us to explore," Byrne said. "But we wouldn't be looking at it if we didn't think it would be a good idea."

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding.

For those of you not keeping score, the financial crisis was, in my opinion at least, primarily caused by two things: reckless mortgages that led to the housing bubble, and reckless financing. The first was based, at least in part, on the CRA; the second was based, at least in part, on the fact that all major Western banks know their governments won't let them go bankrupt, so they can basically do what they like.

So, in order to avoid another crisis like this, what are we doing?

- the Obama administration wants to label certain companies "systemically important", and extend a guarantee that they are never going to go bankrupt (Bloomberg.com)

- the British Labour Party wants to bring subprime mortgages to Europe

Are they even trying to fix anything?