Cuddly Toy, part deux

   You may have read our blog about our odd psuedo-hatred of our fellow womenfolk. Many people ask us "why?" We're not hateful by nature. These are insecurities that have been taught and socially ingrained within us. Now, we're not here to hate on Barbie; just hear us out.

   I found the need to write this blog while listening to Kate Nash. I like Kate Nash. My fiance hates Kate Nash, and, maybe, I am beginning to understand why.

Great costumes! Primary colors! Great video! Low self-esteem! There's the problem. I understand that as an artist, Miss Nash may say anything she likes, and I respect that. I love the musical aspects of this song, but I linger on her feelings of constant innefficiency.

She's instantly more pretty and more interesting than me?

Give yourself some credit, Kate! You're not so bad yourself. If someone who can sing, has a record deal, is lovely, and has sequined costumes isn't enough, then what the hell am I?

Lady Gaga is out there telling you that if you're a freak, rock it out. Be that. Be you. In the words of James St. James "Throw a little glitter on it honey. Go dancing!" Are adults jazzed for their kids to hear that they are on the right track because they were born this way? Maybe. All I keep hearing at the salon is about that fucking meat suit. I get it. Yucky.

Is anyone really listening? There's more than just hype happening here, folks. Lady Gaga told me it's okay to be bisexual, which is certainly one of the friendliest thoughts I've heard on the subject. I've been told that people aren't really bi, they are just filthy nymphos who will have sex with ANYONE. I beg to differ. Yet, I digress...

While Kate Nash and Best Coast sing about how the other girl "is not like me, she's prettier, and skinnier," Taylor Swift is singing about Romeo and Juliet. Did anyone finish that fucking play? It's a fucking TRAGEDY! It ends in sadness and death, and in the end, no one wins. Taylor Swift doesn't sing about that. We are telling our little girls about happily ever after, as if it has ever been that simple. As a child, my feminist grandmother ordered special books about strong females to read to me at bedtime. These girls put on their brother's armor and went jousting and outsmarted instead of outprettying.

Thanks Disney, for all of these damned Princesses. Everybody is a fucking princess. Sure, Belle read a book, and Ariel fought the system a bit, but not without beautiful gear, long hair, and miniscule waists. If you read  the original fairytales, you'd see that Cinderella's stepsisters cut off parts of their feet to wear Cinderella's dainty slippers. Grimm's fairytales are grim as hell. Disney prettied them up, and sold you the toys. Speaking of toys and tiny waists, we have to talk about Barbie.

Barbie takes a lot of blame for body issues, so let's talk Barbie.

Barbie was basically a ripoff of a German doll called Lilli. Lilli was featured in a comic aimed at adults, thus the luscious figure. Dolls were produced more as a novelty than a plaything. Then, Ruth Handler bought one, brought it to America, and basically copied that shit.

I would like to take a moment to defend Barbie. She was always marketed as running the show. SHE drove the sweet car, not Ken. SHE went to the moon. Barbie has had every great job you can think of. Barbie seems to have gone to college. She is, after all, a veterinarian among other things. Also, over the years, Mattel has wisely edited Barbie's body. Her waist is wider, and her breasts and calves are smaller. The Barbie marketed to children is more realistic, while Barbies designed for more adult collectors retain the original body dimensions. She might still have "ideal"  proportions, but at least they are making a conscious effort, unlike the Bratz series of dolls. I hate these dolls to much to write about them...

A thing more infuriating than the fact that such degrading stereotypes exist is that young girls are totally infatuated with them.  My little sister and her best friend listen to Taylor Swift''s Speak now album on repeat 24-7.  Not only do all of the songs have the same sonic formula, but they all reinforce the act of wearing one's heart on your sleeve, getting easily caught up, and believing that every relationship is "the one."  The most well-known song on the album is the one that refers to the story of Romeo and Juliette - but only in the early romantic parts of the story, there is no mention of the tragic end which ensued the young reckless love.  As a result, my sister is convinced that every relationship I have going at the time is "the one," and that the notion of "the one" not only lives vividly, but that it ought to govern our lives.   When I once dated a guy with whom I was in every way incompatible with and then eventually stopped seeing, she began to think of it as an opportunity that I had blown and my time was running out. 

This is one of the many reasons why we love Nicki Minaj.  There is a spectacularily popular allure to the "being a princess" notion.  Being pampered, wearing pretty dresses, I get where they are coming from.  But Minaj's approach is that, yes, getting to do whatever the fuck you want is rad, but she doesn't want to be the princess, she doesn't even want to be the queen, she is the motherfucking KING.  I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin?  Yes you most certainly are.

Taylor Swift is not the only unfortunate icon to young girls who cements this absurd sentimental notion.  Countless other pop-music soaked wretches push dependence on a romantic relationship rather than self-improvement or even general enlightenment of any kind.  As much as we like to think we are no longer in an antiquated state of pushing women towards domesticity, we continue to use the powerful tool of pop stars for evil.  Disney channel shows revolve around petty high school relationships and the characters are completely engrossed in the notion, and are shown in a belittling light when their romantic exploits fail.  We should be teaching girls that love, while a beautiful thing, is very fragile and should we fall, we can eventually recover and not let it define us.   Instead prom continues to hold a place of preposterous importance in the hearts and minds of many high school girls, and weddings become no less sensationalized.

TV: I also blame you. Women are in constant competition with each other. Commercials say to men: buy this and you will be even more awesome! Commercials say to women: you are gross, so you'd better buy this to hide how gross you truly are. Pad your bra. Put on your Spanx. Layer some more Mega Lash because you really need it, lamewad. The Axe brand commercials filled with identical "perfect" women are made by the same people who brought you Dove's Real Beauty campaign. What's wrong with this picture? 

A more tangible side-effect of the culture of insecurity that we have created is the addiction to shopping as a twisted means of self-improvement.  We are told to need this or that new thing and it becomes ingrained in our minds to the point where I've often literally been kept up at night thinking about something as futile as shoes, or lip color.  In our capitalist culture we have created a very effective system of pushing self-fullfilment, which leads us to want more and usually do anything to get it.  Some people buy drugs instead of food for their children, some people buy botox.  With the rise of self-empowerment it means there is always room for improvement, which means buy, buy, buy.

Instead of feeling impowered by the liberty to supposedly be ourselves, we instead have crippling low self-esteem.

Many of the profile pictures I've seen on facebook and myspace upset me because of their overwheming similarity to all of the others.  Most of them, especially but not limited to females, are strange combinations of people taking pictures of themselves in flattering positions while adding some element of vague ugliness to it.  Whether this is to humble themselves, counteract the obvious narcicism of taking a flattering picture of yourself for the world to see, or to push the "I'm so ugly" card to garner sympathy, it is hard to tell.  The most common incarnation of this example is a distracted but deliberate hand-to-face gesture.  I'm not sure what the psychologists would say about this, but I think it has to do with a combination of vulnerability while also wanting to be found sexually attractive.

 The need to be needed is so overtly aparent in these types of images, and BC-HF are not exempt from having portrayed ourselves in such a light.  It is embarassing to get someone else to take a photograph of you for the sole purpose of looking appealing to others.  The outstretched arm trailing off-screen to where one's own hand is holding the camera is a mainstay of internet culture.  What is more upsetting than someone posing for a picture on their own is when, in the clearly self-taken shot, the individual attempts to look aloof, away from the camers's eye, as though caught in a highly normal moment so that it makes it more acceptable somehow.  It's so weird, but we do it, and I'm almost certain you've done it, too.

If I had to pinpoint a time in history where this mentality of self worth/worthlessness began to take root, I would place it right around the time of the industrial revolution.  When people were confined to working for their uterine family, self-fulfillment was achieved by honoring your family.  One was only able to live and eat by relying on the family and therefore serving them.  Once people began to be able to get jobs in factories, they were given the freedom to leave home for the first time, and make a name for themselves as they never even considered wanting to do.  When you are relying on yourself, you become much more interested in bettering that source of energy, and once the populous became more inclined to do so, being one's own person was much more appealing and became so exciting and popular that it is what we, in my country, have dubbed "the American dream."
And American dream is the American queen, right?