Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Comic Book Characters Should Play Baseball: DC Edition
I started to wonder which comic book characters would make the best baseball players. I decided to only use the humans who had minor enhancements. Obviously Superman would destroy a baseball. And yes, the Flash would just tap the ball and make it home in under a second. People would probably notice they were a little different.
Shortstop
Remember the days before Alex Rodriguez played for the Yankees? Or before he took performance enhancing drugs? He was a big guy, who could hit and play his position. He was quick, agile, and powerful. Who does that sound like?
Batman is 6'2, 210 lbs. and is a master in multiple forms of martial arts. He would be amazing in the field. Throwing batarangs probably means he would be pretty accurate throwing to first from awkward positions. Oh, and he is big and strong, and could probably be a 40 HR type guy.
Second Base
You need someone quick at second, who can help turn those tricky double plays. Well if Batman is at SS, then you would definitely want Robin at second. Obviously I mean Tim Drake. He was my favorite Robin. Tim is listed at only 5'1, 115 lbs, but I think he may have grown a little bit. Anyways, he would have the quickness to make those turns and throws to first.
Also, since he loves to use his bo staff, he would probably be a great slap hitter. I could imagine him being more like Ichiro, high average and a ton of stolen bases.
Third Base
This is one of the positions where you want some serious power. This is the character that got me thinking about this whole post. Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke. He has enhanced abilities: strength, agility, reflexes, and a healing factor.
This guy is a mercenary, but he could easily make a crap-load of money hitting 50 HRs per year and also hitting around .400. If Albert Pujols or A-Rod can get over $200 million (I am sure Pujols will get that kind of money), Slade would probably be even higher paid. Plus, his extra abilities would not be noticeable as long as he did not jump twenty feet into the air or something.
Oh, and with that healing factor, he could probably break Cal Ripken's consecutive game streak.
First Base
This is another one of those big, power-hitter type positions. You would someone who is a big target for the other infielders to throw too, but also someone who can just crush a baseball.
Bane would make a great first baseman. He is 6'8 and as long as he does not overdo it on the Venom, he would not look a muscle-bound freak. Just use it on occasion and keep belting out HRs, probably would strikeout a few times though. He would be like Adam Dunn.
Luckily, as of now, MLB does not test for Venom. If they did, Bane could be banned for a few games. Although, he has stopped using it in comics, to get started in baseball, while growing up in the Caribbean, I am sure he would have been juicing.
Center Field
When you think of a center fielder, you want someone who is a natural athlete, and very fast. They usually have a lot of ground to cover. Well, who better than Nightwing? He is built almost exactly like Andrew McCutchen.
Dick Grayson was a fantastic gymnast and acrobat long before he met Batman. That kind of thing probably would come in handy when making ridiculous catches. Also, he probably has a cannon from throwing batarangs and whatnot. I picture him as .300 hitter, who steals about 30-50 bases per year. Not a huge HR guy, maybe 15 to 20, but probably a fantastic gap hitter.
Left Field
Here is another one that has super powers, but those could easily be hidden. Animal Man could play left field. He could summon the speed and power of any animal he wanted. As long as he does not overdo it, he could become one of the greats out there.
I picture him putting up numbers similar to CarGo last year. 35-40 HRs, 40-50 SBs, an average around .350. Yeah, people would probably remember Buddy Baker as a player more than they remember him as a superhero.
Right Field
You want an amazing athlete out there who can throw the ball to third base and home on a rope. Who would be better than Mr. Terrific? The dude has won the Olympic gold medal in the decathlon and has multiple black-belts.
I bet he would put up a .300 average, hit about 25-35 HRs, and probably gun down about 15 guys a year trying to tag up on him. The guy just seems to excel at whatever he does.
Catcher
This is such a tough position because most people do not realize how difficult it can be. Also, there are so many different types of catcher. Personally, I look for a good defensive catcher. The abilities you want in that kind of catcher are quick reflexes. People forget that a catcher has about the same amount of time to react to a pitch as the hitter. If his pitcher misses his target, there is not a lot of time to move the body to make the catch.
Captain Boomerang Jr (Owen Mercer) would be perfect. He is an expert at throwing objects, so he could probably throw out a good amount of runners, plus he has a little bit of super-speed, which means he can probably use that to slow down the rest of the world. A runner stealing second would not distract him as the pitch is coming in. Plus, he could use a little bit of that speed to allow him to steal bases. I could see him racking up somewhere around 60-100 SBs in a season, probably have a huge OBP with all of his walks since he can slow the world down and know if a pitch is a ball or strike.
Pitchers
If you want a good starting staff, you might as well look no further than the Green Arrow and his family. Ollie, Roy, and Connor are all expert marksmen. Using a bow makes a person have a very strong arms and chest. They could easily become a pitcher with that kind of skill-set. You might as well add Merlyn to that mix as well. Instead of becoming an assassin, why not make millions throwing a baseball?
And what about a late inning reliever? How about Hourman? The dude could just pop one of his Miraclo pills and be a hard throwing closer for about an hour. He could be a two inning closer as long as it does not take more than an hour.
Alright, well that is it for this installment. Next time I will look at some Marvel characters.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Fantasy Baseball Week 21
I decided to pick up John Danks and he was a very pleasant surprise. A win and 10 Ks. I will take it all day long. Verlander picked up two wins this week, but Sabathia did not have one. I tied that category, ugh.
My best hitter was Ortiz, the dude was a beast this week. Ryan Braun also had another huge week, with four stolen bases. Unfortunately, he did most of his good work against the Pirates, so he deserves this picture:
Picture via the always awesome Rumbunter...
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Ron Paul and the media
For the best commentary I've yet seen on why that happens, read this text from one of the Economist's bloggers.
I think Mr Paul's influence on the ideological cast of American conservatism has been underestimated and underreported, but to take even his influence, if not his candidacy, more seriously would require the talking haircuts and the newspaper typing corps to wrestle with a charged set of geopolitical and economic topics they would rather continue helping Americans not understand.
Over the last decade, I've been more and more disturbed by the direction politics is taking on both sides of the Atlantic. All our polities seem to be less and less willing to engage in any debate on real issues, and instead all major political parties and the media seem dedicated to confining political debates to symbolic non-issues. A perfect Finnish example is the current fixation on immigration policies, which, frankly, are the least of our problems right now. But none of the big systemic problems with the Finnish economy are even mentioned in the media, or were the subject of any real discussion during the parliamentary elections. Instead, candidates tilted at windmills of their choosing, which gave an impression of politics without any actual content.
Pretty much the same thing is happening in the US, where Ron Paul seems to be one of the only candidates who even brings up real political issues. And for that, he gets resoundingly ignored by the media.
Our representative democracies are mostly shams. The whole representative political system is a theater, constructed to deceive us into thinking that we have some input into the political decision-making process that goes on in our countries. In the meanwhile, the real political elite, which in Finland consists of the party bosses, senior civil servants and others, make the real political decisions, which includes deciding what non-issues the plebes will be allowed to "debate". Real issues will be kept off the media radar.
It'll be interesting to see what non-issues the coming US presidential election will be fought over. Rest assured that no big questions on America's future will be addressed, because that way lies the kind of treatment Ron Paul gets.
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As a postscript, I add a word of caution, in the form of a New York Times op-ed, to anyone who thinks the Tea Party is a positive force in US politics.
And while the public image of the Tea Party focuses on a desire to shrink government, concern over big government is hardly the only or even the most important predictor of Tea Party support among voters.
So what do Tea Partiers have in common? They are overwhelmingly white, but even compared to other white Republicans, they had a low regard for immigrants and blacks long before Barack Obama was president, and they still do.
More important, they were disproportionately social conservatives in 2006 — opposing abortion, for example — and still are today. Next to being a Republican, the strongest predictor of being a Tea Party supporter today was a desire, back in 2006, to see religion play a prominent role in politics. The Tea Party’s generals may say their overriding concern is a smaller government, but not their rank and file, who are more concerned about putting God in government.
You know, if the fact that Bachmann seems to be nuts didn't tip you off.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
How to Fix True Blood
-Obviously they are not going to kill Sookie. It would be great, but it will not happen. Instead though, they need to focus a good bit less on the love triangle and maybe never mention the whole faerie thing ever again.
-Too many useless characters. First, get rid of Tara. She is absolutely unnecessary. Her views go completely against Sookie's beliefs. Might as well kill her off this season. If you want someone who Sookie can talk to about her problems, use Jason. He is more interesting anyway, since he has positive and negative vampire experiences.
-Speaking of Jason, they need to keep his character more consistent. Keep him as a cop, I actually like that idea. I am glad they eliminated the whole were-panther story (I am sure it will pop back up though). In fact, I like the idea of his role being more involved with the vampire community as a cop, maybe covering up things for Bill (with help from Jessica).
-Jessica naked.
-The entire story needs to be vampire related. The interesting thing about the first season was the way we saw how society reacted to vampires. Those are also some of the good parts of this season. Focus more on that and less on idiotic villains. No witches, no demigods, no werewolves, no werebadgers, or anything else. They can exist in this world, but they are not the big story.
-Also, we need to know more about vampire politics. Who are the Authority? How and why did they divide the U.S. into a kingdom per state? How come some of the oldest vampires (Godric, and to a lesser extent Eric) are just sheriffs of small areas. Could they just kill the king or queen and take it over?
-Keep Sam's story just the way it is. Seriously one of the few good things about the show. Except, maybe have him work at the bar a little more often. Also, what happened to him being in love with Sookie? I realize he grew out of that, but he and her have no interaction whatsoever.
-Can someone explain to me why werewolves are more badass than shifters? During the fight against Tommy, he should have shifted into that alligator, or a T-Rex. Can they do that? That would be fuckin' awesome!
So these are just a few of my ideas, feel free to use them HBO!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Cool Colombiana
GO SEE!
REVIEW:
It is so refreshingly, wonderfully cool to see one of the biggest action films of the year, starring a woman! The usually elegant Saldana effortlessly plays a stone-cold hitwoman out for revenge against the criminals who killed her parents in front of her when she was a young girl in Colombia.
Colombiana starts off action packed and never lets up.
The first action scene involving Catayela involves the young Cataleya (who draws Xena drawings and wears Captain America t-shirts, played by the cute Amandla Stenberg) stabs one of the mobsters in the hand with a knife when he tries to get her to give up an important chip her father gives her before he is killed. Young Cataleya dynamically escapes the bad guys after her in a cool first chase scene. When Cataleya finally reaches her dangerous uncle (a great Cliff Curtis, Once Were Warriors, Whale Rider) in the states--- she almost immediately tells him, "I want to be a killer. Can you help?" He immediately answers, "Sure." By day he forces her to go to school to learn things he can't teach her, by night he teaches her things he can, to kill.
Fast-forward 15 years later and Cataleya is the perfect hitwoman. In Saldana's first action scene as Cataleya, she very coolly gets herself arrested and imprisoned to take out a bad guy whose held in the jail she's in. Cataleya, is like the first three letters of her name, plus a gymnast, as she slinks in and out of her cell. Her calling card on her victims is her namesake, a drawing/leaving of a cattleya flower on/with the victim. Of course no one for awhile, from her boyfriend (a sweet, Michael Vartan, Monster-in-Law, t.v. shows Alias, Hawthorne) or the authorities, consider her a suspect for 20+ "cattelya murders." When suspicions do arise that a woman may be the killer, C.I.A. agent (Lennie James, The Next Three Days, t.v. show The Walking Dead), scoffs, "It's not possible."
Boy, is he wrong!
Cataleya's arsenal of weapons is beyond impressive with machine guns and rocket looking guns galore. The standout fight scene with Cataleya and the main bad guy (the one she stabs in the hand at the beginning of the film) involves--- a towel, two tooth brushes, her belt and a gun!
Of course Cataleya ends up killing all the bad guys responsible for her parent's deaths (I wish though at least one would have gotten away so a sequel could possibly be in the works!).
The ending is fulfilling--- for Cataleya and the audience.
It's great seeing Saldana being so successfully versatile as well as her rise to fame--- co-starring as a ballet dancer in her very first film--- 2000's Center Stage and now starring as an assassin in Colombiana.
Here's to the cool Zoe Saldana kicking more ass in the future!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Happy birthday Rebecca Ramos!
At 35, she was the oldest woman to ever appear as a Playboy Playmate. I think that's kinda awesome.
Happy birthday!
New Season of House
Fright Night
The movie decided to do a few things that I liked. First, it did not try to fake you out with the whole, is Jerry a vampire or not. Nope, they jump right into it. Second, they did not draw the suspense out and try to avoid the enemies face off early. Instead, Jerry tries to come in, when Charley says no, he does the most rational thing ever: he digs a hole in the ground and pulls out the natural gas-line and lights it on fire. He then makes a comment about if there is not a house, he does not need an invitation.
That has always been something I have wanted to see some vampires do in Buffy or something. Just burn down the house and be done with it. Then kill everyone inside. That is what I would do if I were a vampire.
The only thing I really hated was the whole high school clique thing. I guess I just do not get it. My school was not like that, I guess these things happen in other places, but it just seems so ridiculous to me. Also, why the hell would anyone go into the house of a suspected vampire in the middle of the night, even if you just saw him leave.
The question I asked Lindsey after the movie, was whether or not she would take the offer that Charley's girlfriend made him when she became a vampire: he could join them and be with her forever. Personally, if a vampire offered me a chance at immortality, I would take it in a heartbeat. Seriously, I would not even think about it. What could be the downside? No more sunlight? Eh, night is more fun. Have to kill people? So, that is what homeless people are for. I really cannot see a downside.
I was going to write something about True Blood today and how it could be better, but I guess I will save that for another time.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Finland is irreligious
Only 20% of Finns unqualifiedly believe in God, while 10% don't believe at all. Eight percent define themselves as strongly religious, while less than a fifth don't define themselves at religous at all. When it comes to the public practice of religion, Finns are among the most passive countries in Europe.
This is actually quite impressive for a country where not belonging to a church was only decriminalized in 1923, there are still two state churches, religious teaching is still given in public schools and blasphemy remains a crime. I wrote more on the same topic last year, when over 15,000 people left the Finnish Lutheran church in the wake of a controversial debate on gay marriage.
Other events that have probably had an effect included a widespread child abuse scandal in the Finnish pentecostal movement. The abuse had been going on for years, with the knowledge of church "elders", who had even permitted convicted child abusers to be taken on as priests, because they felt that God had forgiven them (YLE).
In 2003, a Finnish free thinkers' organization set up an internet service titled eroakirkosta.fi ("leavethechurch.fi"), which allows members of the Finnish state churches to resign their membership with an electronic form. In 2004, they processed 10,000 applications; in 2010, it was 79,000.
In 2010, 19,2% of Finns didn't belong to any religious denomination recognized as such by the state (Tilastokeskus). A 2005 study estimated that 28-60% of Finland's population are atheists, agnostics or non-believers.
So although Sweden is the poster boy for atheist social democracy in American political polemics, maybe it should be us?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Watch the grass grow
The problem is, though, that trees growing on plain dirt don't look very foresty. I'll need grass, but here's the catch: while grass is generated whenever a new chunk is generated, apart from that, the only way to get grass is by making it spread from one tile to another. In other words:
Did it take long? Yes.
I Pooped the Earthquake
I was in the bathroom at work, doing a humpty-dump (that is Lindsey's new term for pooping) and when I came out a few employees asked me if I felt the earthquake. I informed them that it was not an earthquake, just me taking a massive dump. Then I realized they were being serious, so I looked online and found out that there was in fact an earthquake.
Sadly, I did not feel a thing. Although as Jason pointed out via twitter: "If it was worse, at least you were in the right place to have the shit scared out of you. Weird that we were both in the bathroom." Umm, we were not in the same bathroom for those of you who took that the wrong way.
I heard people on Cory Giger's radio show saying that they did not feel anything, yet other people near them did feel the quake. How weird is that? People at work felt it, yet me in the bathroom, felt nothing. Well unless you count the giant turd that somehow came from my body. Actually, it was not that big, I just figured that would gross everyone out.
Anyways, speaking of twitter (oh wait, I never spoke of it? shut up and keep reading). There were plenty of funny tweets (I hate this term) about the cause of the quake. Here are two of my favorites (paraphrased because I am too lazy to try and find them):
-Alexander Ovechkin fell off the treadmill this afternoon causing a 5.9 earthquake.
-That was not an earthquake, it was just Prince Fielder's stomach rumbling for veggies.
And that is why twitter makes me laugh...
On a serious note, I was actually worried about my Aunt Lori and family because I texted her immediately (I saw a news report that said not to call because it could overload the cellphone towers or something). She finally responded and said everyone was fine and that they were out camping and had stopped at a gas station when it hit. I guess they were about an hour away.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Walt Jr and his Bitchy Mom
On last night's episode they continued this great running joke with Skylar even acknowledging it. She makes a comment about taking back the car and she then says that she will still be the bitch. She is now the protector of the family from Walt.
It was a pretty sweet episode. Walt is seriously losing his grip. Also, he is losing his father-figure status with Jesse, which is now being replaced by Mike. Mike was actually impressed with how Jesse handled the meth-heads. And then Gus came along and completely crushed the bond between Jesse and Walt by saying the one thing Jesse needed to hear: I saw something in YOU. Walt believes that everything Gus does is about him (and he could be right, but he never thinks about Jesse). Honestly, how far can Jesse be from being able to cook the same recipe as Walt?
Will there come a point when Gus decides that he no longer needs Walt and could just use Jesse as the cook? At what point will Jesse just decide that he would be better off without Walt being a complete jerk to him all the time.
New Movies Playing!
Colombiana
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A family's idiotic sibling with good intentions.
*the*
M O V I E S
Best New Movie Poster of the Week
Colombiana.)
*Zoe Saldana's character seemingly praying while with a gun in her hands.
Colombiana.)
*Zoe Saldana's character atop of perhaps a building or ledge, with a gun in her hand--- and an explosion behind her.
Colombiana.)
*Zoe Saldana's character Cataleya, encased in the Cattleya flower.
*The poster's dark red color.
Colombiana.)