The uneven surface: faceoffs

Here's another little thing that bugs the hell out of me in the Pittsburgh-Washington series.

As anyone watching the playoffs is likely to have noticed, Sidney Crosby's faceoff win percentage has shot up dramatically. Before this season's playoffs, Crosby was at best mediocre in the circle. Now he's winning faceoffs constantly. Why? At least in part it's because he's found another rule that doesn't apply to him.

Faceoffs, from the NHL rulebook at nhl.com:

76.3 Procedure – As soon as the line change procedure has been completed by the Referee and he lowers his hand to indicate no further changes, the Linesman conducting the face-off shall blow his whistle. This will signal to both teams that they have no more than five (5) seconds to line up for the ensuing face-off. At the end of the five (5) seconds (or sooner if both centers are ready), the Linesman will conduct a proper face-off. If, however:

(i) One or both centers are not positioned for the face-off,

(ii) One or both centers refrain from placing their stick on the ice,

(iii) Any player has encroached into the face-off circle,

(iv) Any player makes physical contact with an opponent, or

(v) Any player is in an off-side position,

the Linesman shall have the offending center(s) replaced immediately prior to dropping the puck.

My boldface.

I guess the online rulebook omits the part "unless the offending center represents the Pittsburgh Penguins". In last night's game, not only Crosby but also Malkin repeatedly took draws where they never placed their stick on the ice. They won most of those draws.

Having watched nearly the entire semi-final series so far, I'm prepared to claim the only reason Crosby is winning so many draws is that he doesn't have to take his faceoffs honestly.

For the life of me, I don't understand why they let first Crosby, and now his teammates, get to ignore the rules on faceoffs, but they do. I challenge anyone who disagrees to watch the game and watch the Penguins' center's stick on the draw. More often than not, they never touch the ice until the puck is dropped.

It really makes me sick to see this stuff, but there it is. In my mind, the most reasonable explanation is that the Penguins, especially Crosby, know that they're the apple in the league's eye, and are taking maximum advantage of it. It's a disgrace that the officials and the league are allowing it.

**

This is my last post on the Penguins this year. I'm so sick of this bullshit that I can't watch the Eastern games any more. When the referees gave Pittsburgh the overtime game on Saturday I had to resist an urge to smash the TV set. I'm done with these playoffs, at least in the East. No doubt the Penguins will win the conference, again, because whenever it looks like they won't, the refs step in. Washington won the first two games and got completely screwed in the next three, to make sure the Golden Boy gets to the finals again. And in the meanwhile, the hockey media is tripping over themselves to suck his dick.

I can't stand it.

Världens BÄSTA produkt!

Ibland dyker det upp föremål som man inte kan vara utan. Vatten när man är törstig, eller luft när man håller andan är dylika exempel. Nu har något ännu bättre trängt in i djupet av våra själar: Jumpsnap. Jag behöver egentligen inte säga mer, utan det räcker med att ni ser för er själva hur excellent Jumpsnap är:



Perfekt för alla tjocka datornördar. Eller hur? Frågan återstår då var man kan köpa produkten.

So much for the series

Let's run through the last two shifts of yesterday's Pens-Caps game.

In the second-to-last shift, first Alex Semin is hooked from behind and pulled down in the offensive zone when he has the puck. No call. Then Malkin is tripped in the offensive zone when he has a puck. A penalty is called to Washington.

On the power play, the Pens get an odd man rush because the Washington forechecker is knocked down to the ice by a Pittsburgh hit. That's interference, for those of you not familiar with the rules. No call. Pittsburgh scores on the odd man rush.

This has nothing to do with sports any more. OK, one of the big reasons the Caps are losing this playoff series is that they're playing poorly. But so are the Pens. I don't see any way the refereeing could be more blatantly biased in favor of the Penguins without just giving them goals for no reason.

It looks like the league has decided Crosby is going to the finals again. Sucks to be you, Boston or Carolina; expect the same treatment in the conference final.

Sometimes the NHL makes me want to vomit. This is one of those times. They're flusing the credibility of the league and the sport down the toilet to sell a whiny Canadian kid as the future of hockey. Hey, NHL: fuck you.

Ingenting är bättre än mammon

Att köpa TV-spel är dyrt. Inte särskilt märkligt, med tanke på att det är en lyxvara som vi kan förunna oss på grund av att vi lever i ett I-land, men likväl, när penningpungen blir lättare känns det vemodigt; detta gäller i synnerhet när pengarna man spenderar hamnar på vad som visar sig vara ett uselt spel. Lösningen på problemet kan givetvis vara att ladda ner piratversioner, men eftersom det är olagligt ska vi inte göra det, eller hur?

Demon är ofta väldigt tråkiga, så då återstår det att försöka lita på recensioner och egna intressen. Likväl går det horribelt fel ändå alldeles för ofta. Ett grymt exempel på detta är Neverwinter Nights 2, med sin usla story (som skulle vara bra), patetiska dialog och ointressanta strider. Vad kan man göra åt detta? Jo, man kan importera, enär de rådande skatterna medför höga priser på underhållande ting, såsom TV-spel. En personlig favorit är Kanada, trots att de ständigt besegrar oss i ishockey.

Om man jämför prisskillnaden på Pokemon Platinum mellan Video Games Plus (länken) och Webhallen så blir det 179 kronor. Det är ganska mycket för ett DS-spel. Givetvis måste man räkna med frakt, men icke desto mindre blir det billigare - och möjligheten att köpa flera spel åt gången finns också, ty då sparar man ju ännu mer. Å andra sidan kostar det närapå 0 kronor att ladda ner, men att vara pirat är väl inte ett lockande alternativ. Eller? Eller? Eller? Eller? Eller?

I hereby award this award

Today, I'm inaugurating my annual Brooks Orpik Hypocrisy Award. The award will be given to the player who, during the course of the NHL season, gives a public statement that at first glance seems like a reasonable thing to say, but when you consider who the player is and what their history is, is so appallingly hypocritical it makes you go nuts. The first ever winner is the man himself, Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman Brooks Orpik.

In yesterday's Caps-Pens game, Ovechkin tried to hit Sergei Gonchar. It's my opinion that Gonchar was trying to avoid the hit, and they collided knee-on-knee. I completely agree with TSN's Bob Mckenzie that there shouldn't be a suspension as Ovechkin wasn't trying to injure Gonchar.

However, this is what Brooks Orpik had to say about the hit, to the Canadian Press via TSN:

"I mean, you can run guys, guys are fair game, but the guy (Ovechkin) takes strides every time and leaves his feet a lot of times, too," defenceman Brooks Orpik said. "To us, we got the feeling he's really trying to hurt guys at times."

Cue violins immediately after "really trying to hurt guys at times". Why? Because this is coming from the guy who broke Erik Cole's neck. Watch.

To fully appreciate the context, note that the Pens are not only losing the game, but by that time in the season they were already out of the playoffs. Carolina, on the other hand, was set to win their division. This was the year they won the Cup. In that situation, Orpik breaks Erik Cole's neck by running him into the boards.

Orpik was suspended for three games. You may recall that earlier this year, Sean Avery got twenty games for saying something derogatory about a player's girlfriend on TV. Take a moment to reflect on the fact that for the NHL, a player's girlfriend's reputation is worth slightly more than six broken necks.

For having delivered the dirty hit that broke Erik Cole's neck, and generally being a dirty player, and then complaining about how Ovechkin hits people so hard, I award Brooks Orpik the inaugural Brooks Orpik Hypocrisy Award. Congratulations!

Sinnesslö slakt som är skön för sinnena

En gång för en evighet sedan hade jag en konversation med en ärad vapenbroder angående Rambo och TV-spel. Vi kom fram till att ett ultimat action i princip skulle sätta sig in i Rambos roll, kombinerat från alla fyra filmer. Det skulle bli underbart! Eller vad sägs om det här:

• Kunna smyga runt och gillra ondskefulla fällor.
  
• Stealth-kills för att decimera fiendens horder.
• Spränga sönder saker i luften. Tänk dig bara hur det vore att själv få utföra Rambos skoningslösa bombardemang i Rambo II. Ljuvligt, eller hur?
• Springa runt i bar överkropp och peppra en överjordisk mängd soldater full med bly.

Kontentan är att oddsen ständigt är på fiendens sida, men att man tack vare mängder (obegränsad?) med ammunition lyckas vinna. Känna sig mäktig, med andra ord. I princip skulle det vara en kombination av Left 4 Dead med Riddick, Thief och Crysis.

Givetvis ska Sylvester Stallone skriva manuset, och det ska vara lika orealistiskt utformat som Rambo 2 och Rambo 3. Jag längtar redan.

Fallout: New Vegas

The first next Fallout game was announced last month, but I managed to miss it. It's going to be called Fallout: New Vegas, and is being developed by Obsidian. Due out in 2010.

I confidently predict that Fallout: Knights of the New Vegas II: The Enclave Lords will have a breathtakingly epic plot that totally falls apart and abruptly ends halfway through, missing quests and locations, and it will be amazingly buggy. There are two reasons for this. First, I've played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II, also by Obsidian. In addition to that, Obsidian was founded by ex-Black Isle developers, the people who brought you the two original Fallout games, which were, erm, amazingly buggy...

Coming to your console in 2010: Fallout: Epic Crash.