I have been using guys forever. I know it isn't a good thing but that's just how i learned to get what i want. If i need to get alcohol for one of my party's i'll call a "friend" who's twenty one. Maybe i'll go on a date with him and then mention that i have to get something at a liquor store before he drops me of at home. If i need a ride ill call a "friend'. If i feel lonely and want to talk to some one I'll call one of my "friends". I never do anything more then give them a peck on the cheek. I guess i still have some morals. If that's what you want to call it.
I don't know if i just need someone to love me, although i don't care much about them. I feel good when i know someone is thinking about me. But how long will it last, before i cant look at my self in the mirror?
People say there are only two types of love. To love someone and to be loved. I have been thinking about this more and more lately. When i look back every guy I've had an interest in doesn't care much for me, and the guys who like me don't mean much to me at all.
What goes around comes around. I'm a big believer in karma, that's probably why i cant eat, or sleep without thinking about one person, who i know doesn't give a fuck about me. While a different and very nice gentleman always texts me, talks to me, and asks me out. I constantly ask my self why i cant like the nice guys.
I wish things weren't so complicated. I also wish i could eat with out feeling these damn butterfly's. I wish he'd text back. I wish i could stop worrying and get on with my life even if that means being single a while longer. At least im able to digest food without feeling the need to vomit.
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