Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Do parents matter at all?

NY Times: Accepting That Good Parents May Plant Bad Seeds
Not everyone is going to turn out to be brilliant — any more than everyone will turn out nice and loving. And that is not necessarily because of parental failure or an impoverished environment. It is because everyday character traits, like all human behavior, have hard-wired and genetic components that cannot be molded entirely by the best environment, let alone the best psychotherapists.

“The central pitch of any child psychiatrist now is that the illness is often in the child and that the family responses may aggravate the scene but not wholly create it,” said my colleague Dr. Theodore Shapiro, a child psychiatrist at Weill Cornell Medical College. “The era of ‘there are no bad children, only bad parents’ is gone.”

I recall one patient who told me that she had given up trying to have a relationship with her 24-year-old daughter, whose relentless criticism she could no longer bear. “I still love and miss her,” she said sadly. “But I really don’t like her.”

For better or worse, parents have limited power to influence their children. That is why they should not be so fast to take all the blame — or credit — for everything that their children become.

He's focusing on genetics, but the basic idea of how much parents can influence their children reminded me irresistably of Judith Harris's 1998 book, The Nurture Assumption. In it, Harris argued that parents simply don't affect their children nearly as much as we think they do. She noted that genetics and parenting are often confused, but what I thought was most interesting was that Harris argued strongly for the influence peer groups have on children.

As the school year is just starting, I'm now going to go off on a tangent about schools. I'm wondering if I'm justified in drawing a practical conclusion from the importance of peer groups. Basically, to me that means that one of the most important parenting decisions is choosing what school to put your children in. If you want them to do well academically, you'll look for a school with good exam results. Even there, the most important factor leading to those results may well be the culture and work ethic of the students, rather than the level of teaching. I've been to some very different schools myself, and I'd argue that this is very important. Your child won't get good exam results because the school is great, but rather because other kids at that school want good exam results, so to some extent, your kid will want them too.

A wider sociological corollary of this would seem to be that there will always be "worse" and "better" schools, if only because the latter are composed largely of kids whose parents want them to do well and steer them toward that kind of environment, and the former are made up of people who aren't that interested in going to school. In my mind, this is the single biggest reason why Finland, with "free" education, also has drastically different final exam results in different schools. It's the peer group.

The way I see it, you can't really do anything about genetics, and there seems to be pretty widespread agreement that beyond some basics, the quality of your parenting also matters a lot less than people think. So really, the one big thing that you can affect is what kind of peer group your kids end up in. That comes down to choice of neighborhood and choice of school.

The fact that schools are this different, even in countries with "free" education, suggests that most parents are already thinking like this. They consider the reputation of a neighborhood before moving there, and the reputation and results of schools. This is really a feedback loop, and to me, that means that the constantly recurring discussion on how to balance differences between schools in Finland is a totally futile one. Different schools will have different "cultures" and work ethics no matter what we do to balance them out. And I don't see why that has to be a bad thing.

Get Taken Again

2


According to "Ghost" or the Smooth Talker, played by rapper/actor Tip "T.I." Harris, a prequel for the crime action film Takers, is in the works.
Takers took the number one spot in theatre box office sales this past weekend with $20.5 million.
A prequel to the heist film would be interesting.
Hopefully we would get to see the Takers' back story and how they got into a life of thievery.
Who wouldn't want to see such a cast reunite again?
Elba, Walker, Christensen, Ealy, Harris and Brown---
I await to be taken again!


*http://worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=18841

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The ten worst songs of the decade

Every now and then, the global music industry produces something so awful it's beyond redemption. This past decade, they've done it quite often, and here's my bottom 10. Now, I know I said songs in the title, but there's a few where I haven't been able to pick a single song to encapsulate the phenomenon. So perhaps more accurately, these are the ten most horrible, stupid, repulsive, vomit-inducing things in popular music over the last ten years.

**

10. Whatever I've forgotten. I've done my best to try to recall the most horrible musical travesties of the past decade, but as I finish this post, I just know I've forgotten something that definitely deserves to be on this list. The trouble is, I know there's something missing, but I haven't got a clue what it is. It's in your face, but you can't grab it. This is. What is it? (submissions accepted)

9. Dragonforce - the fact that they exist. There have been a lot of unbelievably hideous things going on in heavy metal in the 00's, but Dragonforce is far and away the worst of them. I don't know which song to pick, as I've never been able to listen to a whole one. There are YouTube videos where their songs have been either slowed down to half speed or speeded up to double. As far as I know, Dragonforce is only band in the history of music who actually benefit from this treatment: their songs sound better at half or double speed.

In a sense, Dragonforce takes the heritage of Yngwie Malmsteen to its logical extreme, and manages to produce something that sounds even stupider. And to pre-empt the inevitable counter-argument: no, it isn't funny. Not funny as in "ha ha", not funny as in pointing and laughing like Nelson on the Simpsons, not funny as in a British engineer tank on D-Day, or in any other sense of funny. It's just rubbish. The less we see of this musically retarded insult to heavy metal, the better.

8. Lady Gaga - Pokerface. Making pop music has long been an industry on par with any other, but few of its products seem as mass-produced, bland and manufactured as Lady Gaga. Maybe she's a genuine artist in her own right, but every single song she's put out so far has been too generic to describe. Pokerface doesn't feel like a song that was created by a composer and writer; it feels like an industrial product designed by a computer. Which is really what it is.

What makes it worse is that the form of expression they've chosen is basically 90's techno, which is something we do not need to have brought back. This kind of pop can no longer claim to be expressing any kind of artistic vision or communicating any content at all, even on the basest level: it is merely a scientifically engineered collection of beats, hooks and vocals designed to get stuck in people's heads. Far be it from me to argue that pop music has ever been decisively more intelligent or evocative, but this isn't a song any more, it's the musical equivalent of a computer virus. Hearing it on the radio or TV is exactly like having Form C on your hard drive: a slightly annoying viral infection that is, in the end, totally pointless.

7. Metallica - Frantic, or the general failure of heavy metal. In the 90's, we had heavy metal that was innovative, interesting and diverse. In the 00's, we had a whole bunch of heavy metal bands seemingly straight out of the cloning vats, all sounding and looking almost exactly alike. As heavy metal made its way into the album charts, much of it became more radio- and kid-friendly, resulting in insipid bullshit like Linkin Park, and as a counterreaction, the more "edgy" bands became intolerable. System of a Down is a fair example of the other extreme, with Serj Tankian's pseudo-political bleating combining with abrupt shifts in tempo and the worst aspects of death metal to create something that is truly impossible for any even mildly civilized person to listen to without feeling physical pain.

In between the Scylla of Linkin Park and the Charybdis of System of a Down was a vast wasteland of identical-sounding neo-death metal bands that even fans have difficulty telling apart. As if this wasn't bad enough, several genuinely good bands of the 90's turned into parodies of themselves: Metallica and Iron Maiden sound like half-assed tribute bands to themselves, and all the new material Metallica has produced since Load is horrible enough to warrant headlining this entry. Frantic was the moment when I stopped being a Metallica fan, because I don't want to be associated with crap like that in any way. One of my favorite bands from the 90's, Paradise Lost, sold out and began churning out horrible gormless shit that sounds more like Limp Bizkit than Draconian Times. In these conditions it's nothing short of astonishing that perhaps the most unlikely 90's revival, Alice In Chains, is actually damn good.

All in all, this has been an awful decade for heavy metal. All of the innovation, attitude and edge of the 90's is completely gone, and metal is even more bloated, self-indulgent and boring than stadium rock in its heyday. I can't even say I'm a heavy metal fan any more, for fear that people will think I listen to Slipknot or Disturbed. In mere years, Headbangers' Ball has become the most boring music program on MTV. I'd rather watch The Hills.

6. Béyonce - Single Ladies. I'm now going to irrevocably make myself old, but I have to ask: is this even music any more? The jerky rhythm, the seemingly randomly shouted vocals and the epileptic dancing made me think I was watching a parody of a music video. Béyonce's duet with the strangely gyrating South American dwarf whose name I've forgotten could qualify for this spot as well, but the fact that anyone can actually listen to her wheeze through her nose and call it singing is testament to the sheer power of midget porn.

Béyonce, on the other hand, is demonstrably capable of doing much better, but in this decade, she can come up with Single Ladies and see it top the charts. Of course, its denial sparked Kanye West's memorable scene at the MTV awards, highlighting the ultimate problem: rap, hip-hop and r'n'b are disappearing up their own collective ass. All of this music is becoming more self-indulgent, masturbatory and divorced from reality than a Michael Lynche performance on American Idol. I fully expect the next Béyonce hit to be a totally atonal noise with a video where she jerks around like a disfigured puppet. No, wait, she did that with Lady Gaga already.

5. Anything by Franz Ferdinand, My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds to Mars, and everyone else who looks, sounds and acts exactly like them. Sadly, because I avoid all of this garbage like the plague, I don't really know which particular song to pick to represent the steaming pile of shit that these bands are. Actually, that's not sad at all. These morons in eyeliner weren't content with making utterly forgettable, plain bad rock; they had the effrontery to pretend they were punk. Watching that guy from My Chemical Romance have what looks like an epileptic fit but he probably thinks is performing, or Jared Leto poncing around pretending to be emo, is painful, as are Franz Ferdinand's look-everyone-we-went-to-art-school music videos, but by far the worst part is the actual music. This crap is, quite simply, the worst "rock" in decades.

An awful combination of inept rock and pseudo-intellectual pretentiousness, the sooner everyone realizes that "30 Seconds to Mars" is one of the most appalling band names in history and leaves this toxic dump of music behind them, the better.

4. The Black Eyed Peas - My Humps. Ah, the Black Eyed Peas. Made up of three men who pretend they can rap, and an ex-heroin addict who pretends she's hot. Everything they get their hands on turns to shit. At best, the Black Eyed Peas produce mindless, pointless pop that isn't really offensive in any way; it's simply rubbish. Everything I said about Lady Gaga applies even more strongly to them. At worst, they come up with My Humps. It's a song so brutal that even Dick Cheney couldn't bring himself to add it to the Guantanamo Bay playlist. It is literally so bad that I had a hard time justifying placing anything above it on this list, as I don't think any other song released in this decade can legitimately be considered a crime against humanity. "My Humps" proves that you don't have to believe in a god to experience blasphemy, as this song insults the entire universe.

To make things worse, this is one of those songs that's going to turn up on a "best of the 00's" list twenty years from now, and your children will ask you what the hell was wrong with your generation. And you don't have an answer.

**

And now, the top three.

3. Green Day - American Idiot.

Ah, Green Day. Once a decent punk rock band, they disappeared from the music scene in the late 90's. I don't know if they ran out of money or what, but as the 2000's rolled around Green Day sold out. As far as I can tell, their record company re-packaged them as an edgy, supposedly political parody of themselves. Thus we were treated to the spectacle of children thinking they're rebelling against authority by watching MTV and buying albums from multinational corporations. In a sense I think it's positive that pseudo-leftist antiauthoritarianism has been co-opted by corporate America as another money-making tool, because I have zero sympathy for the faux-political crud that Green Day spew. Overall, I consider it intellectually pathetic that this mockery of both music and politics can be so popular.

As I said, I've had a hard time coming to the conclusion that any of the songs in this Top 3 are actually worse than the atrocity that is "My Humps". I'll try to justify this. Throughout the history of rock, there has been political rock music, and other kinds of political music as well. I have nothing against politics in music, even if they disagree with my own views; on the contrary. Some of it has been immensely influential; most of it has a very powerful quality. What makes Green Day worse than "My Humps" is that it makes a mockery of this tradition. There is no actual musical or political content here; there is simply the greedy, cynical calculation of the record execs. So anyone who fell for the political play-acting and musical debility of this song and album is, indeed, an idiot.

2. Coldplay - Viva La Vida.

I mentioned this song already in a previous post, but really, there isn't enough disk space on the Blogger servers to adequately describe what an insult to music this piece of shit is. Coldplay as a whole is a fair definition of pretentiousness. Musically, they're as engaging and emotionally charged as muzak, and their lyrics have an artistic quality on par with a badly machine-translated user manual: the best that can be said for them is that they're occasionally inadvertently amusing. This combination is delivered by some of the laziest musicians I've ever heard on a record, and the insipid whining of their sorry excuse for a lead vocalist. Again, the most shocking thing by far is that they're popular. For reasons I cannot begin to imagine, several thousand people seemed to mistake this pathetic pseudo-lounge music for a rock band, and for a while at least, it was impossible to avoid Coldplay.

A few years back they apparently decided to test how gullible their fans really were, and released a shitty techno song with a stupid title: "viva La Vida". Even in the heyday of Eurotechno, this rubbish would have been seen for what it is. The 90's techno beat, pathetic clock sound effect and whiny vocals add up to what may well be one of the most cynical attempts to abuse the music-buying public's gullibility for years. Judging from the rotation it got on MTV, they didn't underestimate that gullibility. The video is as awful as the song; as if it wasn't bad enough to have to watch Jenson Button's gay little brother in the first place, it's even worse through a pathetic Photoshop effect. The best thing I can say about Coldplay is that they're one of those bands that no-one will remember five years from now.

The one thing that makes this horrible crap worse than "My Humps" is the fact that its fans seemed to genuinely think they were listening to proper music. I've never heard anyone claim that the Black Eyed Peas make music that touches your soul, but a shockingly large number of people were taking Coldplay seriously, and looking down their noses at people who didn't like it. Surely that makes them even worse than "My Humps".

1. Rihanna - Umbrella.

I said "My Humps" will show up on lists of top music videos of the "noughties". So will this song, and if you think you'll have a hard time explaining that, try this one.

Rihanna is the current manifestation of an old pop-industry cash cow: the Caribbean import. Not many people seem to know that Bob Marley was one of the pioneers of this particular marketing ploy; his first international album was entirely played by studio musicians in Britain. After his success, the record multinationals have regularly foisted a Caribbean artist on us. In the early years of the decade, we got the inadvertently hilarious Sean Paul, whose videos can still reduce us to giggling. This time around, it's Rihanna. Somehow, her song about music from the speakers running through your sneakers became a runaway hit, and she rocketed to inexplicable popularity. The lyrical and musical quality of her material has, if anything, declined since then, with "Umbrella" capping her résume. The key lyric is, after all: Umberella, ella, ella, ee, ee, ee.

Even for a brainless pop song, "Umbrella" is astonishingly idiotic. The plodding, repetitive music, the mentally deficient lyrics and the awful video combine for a mind-blasting experience. This is the only music video I've ever seen that's left me speechless. The first time I saw it, I was unable to react to it in any way. I had to start by checking that I wasn't dreaming. Throughout the whole time that MTV had "Umbrella" on heavy rotation, I quietly wondered if the entire world around me had gone completely insane. I was scared to talk to people, because if they thought "Umbrella" was a good song and video, they would probably think the proper way to reply to "Good morning" was "Albatross 16 brouhaha". If a person was capable of going to a record store to buy music and coming out with Rihanna's "Umbrella", what would they bring me if I ordered lunch? If "My Humps" is too horrible to use as torture, "Umbrella" transcends torture. Had the US Army interrogators at Guantanamo Bay played "Umbrella" to the inmates, they would all have gone stark raving mad and started eating their flesh and piling up their furniture.

At the end of the day, "Umbrella" is unquestionably more horrible than "My Humps" because it made me question my sense of reality. The Black Eyed Peas give you the ordinary, dull annoyance of bad music; "Umbrella" opens up a gaping vista of eldritch horror in which all of your perceptions about the world are hideously warped. Can people who bought this song be, in fact, people? If my perceptions differ from theirs this fundamentally on this topic, who's to say they agree on anything else? When I'm not around, do they remove their masks and gibber and sway to the tune of "Umbrella" at the foot of some unspeakable idol to the Elder Gods? To me, the popularity of "Umbrella" is incontrovertible proof that a substantial percentage of the world's population perceives a different reality from mine. In this sense, it upsets my conception of the universe. I didn't think music could do that.

So not only is "Umbrella" a terrible mockery of a song, but its very existence threatens my sanity. No other song in the history of pop has been able to do that. At the very least, "Umbrella" is the worst pop song of the decade. It may be the worst pop song ever.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Get Taken


The Verdict: 
GO SEE!


REVIEW:
The crime action film Takers may have dethroned Sex and the City 2 as the number one unofficial "girl flick" of 2010.
Crime action film = girl flick?
It is when the film stars: Idris Elba, Paul Walker, Michael Ealy, Hayden Christensen, Tip "T.I." Harris and Chris Brown.
The plot isn't what packed the theatre with squealing, dreamy eyed females of all ages at my showing that's for sure.
Which actor got the most cheers and whistles when they first made their appearance on the screen?
It's a six way tie.
The handsome Takers are made up of Gordon Jennings, the Leader, played by Elba (Obsessed, Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls) with his charming British accent for a nice change, John Rahway, the Bagman played by Walker (The Fast and the Furious series), Jake (the Gunman) and Jesse (the Runner) Attica, brothers, played by Ealy (Barbershop series, Seven Pounds) and R&B singer/actor Brown (Stomp the Yard, This Christmas), Hayden Christensen (Jumper, Star Wars Episodes II, III, VI) as AJ, the Builder and "Ghost" the Smooth Talker played almost too believable, by rapper/actor Harris (ATL, American Gangster).
Gruff voiced Dillon (Crash, Armored) and apt to good guy roles, Hernandez (Hostel series, Quarantine) play police partners, Jack Welles and Eddie Hatcher who are the first to figure out the Takers' heist and stop at nothing to take them down.
There are just three women in the film, Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Center Stage) Jake's fiancee, Marianne Jean-Baptiste (City of Ember, The 24 Hour Woman) being outstanding as the trying to recover drug addict sister of Jennings and Zulay Henao (Feel the Noise) in a small role as Hatcher's wife.
Standout scenes are of Brown's exhausting three minute (which seems like a lot more) on foot chase scene, Walker's badass driving of two armored trucks into the ground, the big hotel shoot out scene between the Takers and a gang of Russian criminals and pretty boy tattooed Christensen's character beating down three+ guys all alone.
Now standout scenes for female viewers: It's either the almost shot of Walker from behind, naked, or maybe the scene where Elba gets out of bed shirtless wearing just boxer briefs or just maybe Brown in a tight tank top drenched in sweat!
The interesting thing about the characters in Takers, from the Takers to the cops--- no one is strictly "good" or "bad."
The lines are blurred. You'll find yourself rooting for the supposed bad guy at one point and jeering for the seemingly good guy at another.
The plot of Takers seems simple: criminals plan to pull off a heist but it's much more complicated than that. There are many twists and turns starting mid movie that you will not see coming, plus some shocking deaths.
I wasn't happy with the fate of some characters but the film left me very satisfied as a whole.
With an all around great cast and not the usual cliched heist plot, Takers is a thrill ride from beginning to end.
Definitely take yourself to see it!



~Trailer:

*The Stars:
Idris Elba, Paul Walker, Matt Dillon, Tip "T.I." Harris, Chris Brown, Michael Ealy, Hayden Christensen, Jay Hernandez, Zoe Saldana, Marianne Jean-Baptiste

~Director:
John Luessenhop

~Music:
Paul Haslinger

~Rating:
PG-13
*
But there is enough violence to make it on the verge of R-Restricted

~How Long:
1 hr. & 47 mins.

~Opening:
8/27/2010


FUN FACTS:
~Takers' original title was Bone Deep.
~Elba and Saldana starred in the 2010 comic book based film The Losers.
~The previous heist movie Dillon was in--- Armored (2009)--- he played a thief.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Mannerheim's empire

I'm currently reading Mark Mazower's excellent Hitler's Empire: Nazi Rule in Occupied Europe. I was first introduced to Mazower in my political history studies, where his Dark Continent was mandatory reading, and I recommend it to anyone interested in Europe between the two world wars.

In Hitler's Empire, he writes:

Postwar, a collective amnesia seized countries like Italy, Hungary and Romania that had fought alongside Hitler and run parallel occupations of their own. The Croats and Slovaks had acquired their own states, Bulgaria had swallowed up neighbours' lands, and Hungary regained mych of the territory it had lost in 1918. Mussolini had dreamed of a new Roman empire and sent his conscripts to the Cyclades if they were lucky and the Sahara, Slovenia or Somaliland if they were not. Romania had administered the Ukraine, festooned Odessa with corpses and hurled hundreds of thousands of soldiers into the struggle with the Red Army. Baltic, Belorussian and Ukrainian nationalists had all fought on the German side too in the hope that they might benefit.

One country that also ran its own parallel occupation was Finland. Risto Ryti and Mannerheim dreamed of a Finnish empire encompassing the Kola Peninsula and Eastern Karelia, with Finno-Ugrian client states stretching all the way to the Urals. Finnish troops divided up the population of Soviet Karelia into arbitrary racial groups and shut the Slavs up in concentration camps, in preparation for turning them over to the Germans. Finnish East Karelia was to be populated by war veterans turned smallholders in a scheme that almost exactly mirrored Nazi plans for occupied East Europe.

In today's Finland, the Finnish imperial project is conveniently forgotten or glossed over. The "collective amnesia" is so strong that even Mazower's book totally omits any mention of the Finnish occupation. On page 327, he even goes as far as to claim that Finland was "only interested in fighting... for security". This is said without footnotes or references, as if it is an obvious enough fact to not need a source at all.

Certainly there are definitions of security by which Finland invaded the Soviet Union and tried to establish its own eastern empire in the interests of "security", but in that case we will have to argue that Stalin also invaded Finland in 1939 for reasons of "security". Patriotic Finnish historians do in fact maintain that Finland is entirely blameless in everything connected to the Second World War, and even the fact that Finland invaded the Soviet Union is the Soviets' own fault. That this is precisely what Stalin's regime said of the Winter War doesn't trouble them at all, because the Soviet Union was intrinsically evil and Finland is intrinsically good.

Similarly, according to Finnish patriotism, because Finland is intrinsically good and Hitler's Germany was intrinsically evil, nothing the two countries did can be compared to each other. In this way Finnish historians can bemoan the terrible atrocities of Stalin and Hitler, and simultaneously consign Finland's own aggression and dreams of a racial empire to convenient oblivion. Our collective amnesia stretches comfortably into the 21st century.

Mazower's otherwise excellent book provides a telling example of practical amnesia. He has no sources for any of his statements on Finland in the war, but thanks his colleagues in the acknowledgements. One of them is Finnish professor Martti Koskenniemi, who we may guess is at least one of Mazower's sources on matters relating to Finland. So either a distinguished Finnish historian is totally unaware of Finland's imperial project, or has chosen to tell his colleague that Finland "only fought for its security", omitting any mention of an occupation and imperial ambition that is fully documented in Finnish academic literature.

The other alternative is that Mr. Mazower hasn't done any research at all into Finland's policies and war aims in the Second World War, and has simply assumed that they were essentially defensive. Whatever the truth, it's bizarre to read a fairly involved account of Romania's occupation policies on the Eastern Front right next to a denial of the very existence of any Finnish occupation at all.

What's Playing? 8/27 Weekend


***

Last weekend in theatres were heavy on comedies.

This weekend there's a good mix of genres:

Action: Takers
Epic:
Centurion
& Horror:
The Last Exorcism

Also, one re-release.
One of the most buzzed about movies of 2009,
the Sci-fi adventure:
Avatar



Here's what's playing starting this weekend:






Takers
What's It About?
A group of especially good bank robbers plan their biggest heist.

Why See It?
-Ladies, take your pick: Idris Elba, Paul Walker, Michael Ealy, Hayden Christensen, T.I., Chris Brown.
-Fellas, for the bank robbing aspect of the film.

Why Skip It?
With that cast, I really can't think of a reason not to!

Trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810047058/video



*



Centurion
What's It About?
The legend of Centurion Quintus Dias and the Ninth Legion battling against the Picts in 117 AD.

Why See It?
-If you're into epic/ancient Rome/Greece movies.
-Olga Kurylenko plays a fierce warrior woman.

Why Skip It?

If you don't want to take your chances on the although talented, not so big Hollywood names, as lead characters.

Trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810161988/video


*

Justify Full

The Last Exorcism


What's It About?
"Found footage" of the exorcism of a teenage girl possessed by the devil.

Why See It?
You're a fan of exorcism movies.

Why Skip It?
Exorcism movies freak you out.

Trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810152400/video


*


Avatar
What's It About?
You should know, but paralyzed ex-Marine Jake Sully travels to the alien planet Pandora in an Avatar body on a mission, and unexpectedly falls in love with the exotic, blue princess Neytiri he meets.

Why See It?
-If you saw it via DVD instead of in theatres.
-If you saw it in 2D via theatres instead of 3D.
-The re-release includes 9 additional minutes of new footage plus new characters: the Sturmbeest.

Why Skip It?
You weren't interested in the world of Pandora in 2009.

Trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809804784/video
*Reopening in limited release in 3D*



***
E N J O Y

*T H E*

M O V I E S

***

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The annual Brooks Orpik hypocrisy award

And now, the moment literally no-one has been waiting for: the annual Brook Orpik Hypocrisy Award!

**

Although this award was instituted for the NHL, hence the name, we feel it would be wrong to restrict it to just hockey. After all, this blog also follows F1.

Now, we could simply nominate Lewis Hamilton and the entire McLaren team for the ridiculous fiasco that was their holier-than-thou commentary on Ferrari's team orders at this year's German GP. Martin Whitmarsh said that McLaren would "never give team orders like Ferrari", and Hamilton agreed. He told the BBC that McLaren would never give team orders, and adding:

"I personally would not want to win the championship other than by winning it fairly."

Although you would apparently have been fine with winning one in a stolen car. And obviously when Heikki Kovalainen was told to let Hamilton past him at the 2008 German GP, that wasn't a team order, even though Kovalainen did tell Finnish media that he was ordered to let Hamilton pass. Funny how McLaren didn't get a fine for that, by the way. So based on what he's said, we expect him to turn in his 2008 driver's championship. Ha.

**

For another example, here's what our "favorite" driver had to say after the Chinese GP this year:

The Guardian: Lewis Hamilton's feud with Fernando Alonso simmers ahead of Spanish GP

The rivalry that has long existed between Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso has simmered again ahead of Sunday's Spanish grand prix.

Alonso last week made no secret of what he thought of Hamilton's moves in the Malaysian and Chinese grands prix that have resulted in him being labeled as "aggressive" by some of his fellow drivers.

Hamilton, though, has not missed the opportunity to respond. Assessing Alonso's passing manoeuvre on his Ferrari team-mate Felipe Massa in the pitlane in China, the 25-year-old was defiant.

"On the track you race and you overtake professionally and as cleanly as possible," said Hamilton. "I've never done that [Alonso's move], and it's definitely not in my nature to do what he did. That could have turned out really badly for Felipe. He could have been out of the race."


Sounds fair, doesn't it? In reality, what Alonso did was, as Hamilton said, dangerous and ill-advised, especially given that Massa is his team-mate. However, here's a reminder of what the Guardian didn't say.

USA Today: Hamilton, Vettel reprimanded in China

SHANGHAI — A chaotic Chinese Grand Prix prompted a post-race stewards' hearing and recriminations among several drivers following contentious incidents in the first half of the race.

The race featured two pitlane passing attempts -- one between teammates -- and a frightening first-lap crash that took out three drivers.

Stewards investigated the incident between McLaren's Lewis Hamilton and Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel after the pair almost collided on the entry to pitlane. After their stops, they raced wheel-to-wheel along the pitlane.

Both drivers received an official post-race reprimand for driving "in a dangerous manner."

"At the stop I was ahead; I don't know why he pulled to the left and was keen to touch me. I hoped I didn't get a puncture from that -- I don't really understand why he did that as I was a bit ahead of him and had the advantage anyway," Vettel said.

It was the second straight race Hamilton had been cautioned by stewards, after weaving to block a following car in Malaysia.


**

Hamilton had pulled off nearly exactly the same move in the same race. Finland's MTV3 remembered, but apparently the Grauniad wasn't paying that much attention. Given that Hamilton is known, and the way we've heard it, positively loathed on the paddock for his over-aggressive driving and complete disregard for the rules, the mere notion of him coming out and saying something like this is breathtaking. On top of that, the comments he made after the German GP are beyond hypocritical.

After all this, he's the undisputed winner of this year's Brooks Orpik Hypocrisy Award. His notion that "he's not that kind of guy" is a ridiculous lie, given that he did precisely the same thing himself. He obviously won't be turning in his 2008 world title, which by his own alleged standards he won unfairly, because team orders that favor him aren't team orders. We don't know if he's just plain delusional or what's wrong with him, but we do know he's just won this award.

**

The Brooks Orpik Hypocrisy Award is given by the writers of this blog to the athlete who makes the most preposterously hypocritical comment of the year.

Previous winners:

2009 - Brooks Orpik, Pittsburgh Penguins, NHL

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Festival report: Sonisphere Finland 2010

We went, we saw, we were drenched. Here's the story in brief.

The festival

First of all, "Sonisphere" is the dumbest name for a music festival I've ever heard in my life. Seriously. Secondly, the arrangements are barbaric. At least in the old days, when I went to festivals in Finland, you got yourself a ticket and they gave you a bracelet or something so you could come and go as you liked. Not so at Sonisphere: once you check in for the day, you can't check in again. So you're stuck in the small, cramped festival area, eating "pizzas" the size of CDs for 8e and drinking 6e pints of beer. Of course, bringing drinks of your own is prohibited. And this year too, they ran out of drinks, or at least non-alcoholic ones.

Overall, Sonisphere Finland is a dreary, poorly organized experience. It's a made-up festival; don't go.

The downburst

This year, Sonisphere Finland was hit by a freakishly strong downburst, meaning very strong straight-line winds and intense rain. We were right in the middle of it.

We were in front of the smaller stage, waiting for the Stooges to come on, when a thunderhead rocketed across the sky toward us. It started raining, and we thought what the hell, so we'll get wet. It's not like there's anywhere on the grounds you can really find shelter anyway. The rain got stronger, and a lot stronger, and rather alarmingly, it tilted. One minute the raindrops were falling on your head, the next minute they were hitting your back hard. Then it changed into hail. All I can say is it felt like somebody threw a bucket of ice at my back.

The whole thing lasted for maybe ten minutes, which we spent getting completely soaked and fairly oblivious to things around us. When the rain suddenly stopped, we saw both stages were ruined. Falling debris had totally trashed Alice Cooper's drums, and we later learned that all of Mötley Crüe's and the Stooges' stuff was destroyed in the storm. 40 people were injured, one of whom died later in hospital.

Although we came out of it uninjured, on the whole the downburst wasn't much fun either. If you're offered a chance to be in one, I wouldn't do it.

The bands

At one point, some people sitting next to us on the grass were going on about how great Slayer was. "They played all the songs exactly like they are on the albums!" Yeah. They did. It was mortally boring. And, sadly, so was Alice in Chains. They didn't connect with the audience at all, and the whole show was just indifferent. I'd been looking forward to the "new" Alice in Chains for a long time, and was really disappointed. Very dull, by-the-numbers performance.

As I said, the Stooges' stuff was destroyed by the storm. When Mötley Crüe heard their stuff was gone, they immediately left without playing a single song or even showing their faces. Which is ridiculous. Iggy, on the other hand, came on stage to say that they'll play whatever they can, given that their gear was destroyed and the stage was in ruins. Eventually, the roadies managed to hook up a guitar and a mike for Iggy, so he and their guitarist did a four-song acoustic set for us. They brought out the sax for "I Wanna Be Your Dog", but they didn't have a mike for it, so whenever Iggy finished a verse, he held his mike up to the sax so we could hear it.

It was awesome. I can now report that the Stooges totally kick ass. In a way, that experience alone was worth the price of admission. Of course, it also helped that Alice Cooper announced he's playing his full set no matter what, so as soon as the stage was cleared he did, and kicked ass too. Alice was simply great. Good, old-fashioned rock'n'roll from the man who invented shock rock.

Iron Maiden headlined the festival, and after an endless delay, they too eventually came on stage. I should admit that I don't particularly like the "new" Iron Maiden. Ever since Bruce came back, Maiden have felt like a tribute band to themselves, knocking out identical, massively boring records that just sound like ripoffs of "classic" Maiden. To make things worse, they played new stuff on this tour as well, including at least one track from their upcoming album, which lasted for hours and was terrible.

They were as boring as hell and their new music is frankly shit. On top of that, Bruce Dickinson is apparently so much in love with his voice that he would blather on at the audience for minutes on end. Shit, if I wanted to listen to an overweight airline captain tell bad jokes, I'd take a plane. Preferably somewhere Iron Maiden aren't playing. They're a bloated, boring parody of themselves.

So, to sum up, Maiden, Slayer and Alice in Chains sucked, the Stooges and Alice Cooper kicked ass, and Mötley Crüe are a bunch of faggots.

The trains

We left for the festival on Saturday morning. It turned out that someone had left the bow gate on the locomotive open, and it sank at Järvenpää. After waiting at the station for an hour, we got moving again, but without any air conditioning. The geniuses who've designed VR's current passenger cars haven't left a single window, hatch or aperture that can be opened from inside while the train is moving, so if the aircon isn't working, no air gets in or out. It was uncomfortable.

After another hour's wait at Hämeenlinna, we eventually got to Tampere well over two hours late, and missed our connection to Pori, thereby also missing the Cult.

The return trip wasn't any better. The festival train we were returning on had "Jazz train" signs on it, presumably because it's the same service they run from the Pori jazz festival. Jazz is gay, annoying and takes forever, so they were the right signs.

First, the train was delayed by hours because the festival was delayed, which is fine. However, the storm had knocked over several trees onto the tracks, and we had to wait for an incoming local train to clear the track because we could leave, leading to a delay of well over an hour. Once we finally got moving, we got as far as Tampere before the locomotive broke down and we had to wait for around an hour for a new one. In the meantime, everything was fine except for the vaguely piss-colored water swilling around the floor of the car.

After Tampere, we got a move on southward, and everything went fine until someone jumped in front of the train at Hyvinkää and got run over and killed. His body ended up right under my window, which I only noticed after it was covered up. Naturally, this led to another half-hour wait, and all in all we eventually arrived at Helsinki hours late.

With VR, you'll usually eventually get there, but remember this: The schedule is a lie.

Conclusion

Don't go to Sonisphere. Especially if Iron Maiden are playing.

Piranha Has Bite


The Verdict: 
MAYBE SEE...


REVIEW:
It actually wasn't bad.
The fish horror film Piranha 3D certainly wasn't good as in, I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone, but it wasn't bad as in, I left the theatre mid movie.
It is was it is--- a mindless horror, borderline comedy about murderous fish that love the taste of human flesh.
The tagline says it all: "Sea, Sex and Blood."
Although there wasn't a drop of sex in Piranha.
Topless, naked and half-naked girls, yes.
Girl on girl kissing, yes.
If you're a hot-blooded male audience member, that should keep your attention if the plot can't.
The cast is surprisingly solid with almost no unknown actors and actresses. Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas, Hollow Man) stars as the sheriff of Lake Victoria (with Ving Rhames, Baby Boy, Day of the Dead, as her deputy) who is mother to two young children and a teen son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen, T.V. show The Vampire Diaries).
Instead of watching his siblings, Jake wants to go out and have some fun with the other kids during the start of Spring Break.
He winds up on a boat called the Barracuda, as a guide for new to town, porn director, Derrick Jones (played hilariously by Jerry O' Connell, Scream 2, Obsessed ).
Also on the boat is two of Jones' porn actresses, one of who is the beautiful Kelly Brook (School for Seduction, Survival Island) and the cute girl Jake is crushing on, Kelly (Jessica Szohr, T.V. show Gossip Girl )--- who was coached into boarding the boat by Jones of course.
When Jake's little brother and sister stray from home for a little boat ride of their own, after their boat drifts away from not being properly docked, they find themselves stranded.
The Barracuda saves them but when their boat winds up crashed and sinking and invaded by killer piranhas, it's up to their mother the sheriff to save them all.
Meanwhile back on the mainland Spring Break festivities (a lot of drinking and half-naked dancing of course) are cut short by the hungry piranhas crashing the festivities.
The piranhas spill a lot of spring breakers blood and no one seems to be able to get out of the water.
Funny, ironic banners and signs are pop up as the chaos is happening: "Life is rough but not today" and "Dying to get in."
In one scene, a spoof on the Titanic seems to be made as the bow on one ship is up in the air and steadily sinking while people fall off into the water. But instead of icy waters, they are met by killer fish.
There are two really gross scenes, one where Jake's crush is on the verge of kissing him but gets sick at the exact moment and throws up before she can.
The other is of a floating disemboweled penis (Can you guess whose the piranhas bite off?)--- which two piranha actually fight over before one wins and swallows it up.
Shameless, but in good, cheesy, R-rated fun.
The 3D factor makes the two scenes even more gross as the up chuck and genitalia are right in your face.
The ending is just a scream and couldn't have ended any better way.
If released earlier, Piranha 3-D could have been been the perfect way to kick off summer movies.
Instead this fishy, water, B-horror tale turned out to be the perfect way to end them.




~Trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810035867/video


*The Stars:
Elisabeth Shue, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Jerry O' Connell, Ving Rhames, Kelly Brook, Adam Scott, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Llyod


~Director:
Alexandre Aja

~Music:
Michael Wandmacher

~Rating:
R

~How Long:
1 hr. and 29 mins.

~Opening:
8/20/2010


FUN FACTS:
~Piranha 3D is the second remake of the 1978 movie Piranha. The first remake was in 1995.
~Dreyfuss starred in the original fish horror film, Jaws, with the character being similar to his fisherman character in Piranha.
~Eli Roth, actor (Inglourious Basterds, Death Proof) and director (Hostel series) has a small role as a wet t-shirt contest announcer.
~Two porn stars appear in the film--- Ashlynn Brooke and Gianna Michaels.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Turkey time

Der Spiegel: Turkey Accused of Using Chemical Weapons against PKK
German experts have confirmed the authenticity of photographs that purport to show PKK fighters killed by chemical weapons. The evidence puts increasing pressure on the Turkish government, which has long been suspected of using such weapons against Kurdish rebels. German politicians are demanding an investigation.

It would be difficult to exceed the horror shown in the photos, which feature burned, maimed and scorched body parts. The victims are scarcely even recognizable as human beings.

As I'm writing this well before it'll be published, more information on this story may well have broken. Sounds like mustard gas to me, for what it's worth. It's good to see someone carrying on Saddam Hussein's minority policies.

**

Whether the story turns out to be true or not, the condition of the Kurds is something worth remembering. In 2008, the Kurds made up 18% of the population of Turkey. Ever since Turkey was founded in 1923, the central government has vigorously persecuted the Kurds. Until the 1990's, their objective was nothing less than total cultural genocide. The very existence of the Kurds was categorically denied; they were classed in censuses as either "mountain Turks" or "eastern Turks" to avoid even admitting that there were such people in Turkey. Their language was banned, and over a million people were forcibly relocated.

Unsurprisingly, the Kurds rebelled against this treatment, and the army was sent in. Eighty years later, they're still at it, now with chemical weapons.

It's worth remembering that the Turks actually invented genocide. From 1915 onward, the Turks killed somewhere between half a million and 1,5 million Armenians in the Armenian genocide. The full panoply of ethnic cleansing was deployed for the first time by the Turks, with forced relocations, concentration camps and death squads.

In international politics, the Turks also still illegally occupy Northern Cyprus, in defiance of the UN and the international community. In what may be a world record of sorts, no country other than Turkey has recognized Northern Cyprus as a state.

**

Turkey has been seeking membership in the European Union for a good while now. Most of the discussion around their membership revolves around Islam and, frankly, xenophobia, but a real issue that should get a lot more attention is their genocidal policy against the Kurds and the continuing debacle of the Cypriot occupation. A country that behaves like this should have no place in the European Union.

What's Playing? 8/20 Weekend


***

This weekend, nothing is out that I'd dub a "must see!"


I certainly won't be running to theatres.

Piranha 3D, Vampires Suck and Lottery Ticket are my top choices.


Here are the films that are playing in theatres:




Piranha 3D
What's It About?
Killer piranha attacking spring breakers.

Why See It?
The 3D factor. It should be pretty cool seeing those jaws come out at you.

Why Skip It?
Killer piranha? Sure.

Trailer:



*

Vampires Suck
What's It About?
A spoof on the Twilight series.

Why See It?
-If you're a Twilight fan who can take a joke.
-If you're a spoof fan.

Why Skip It?

-If you're a Twilight fan who can't take a joke.
-The trailer probably holds the funniest jokes.

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810153262/video


*


Lottery Ticket
What's It About?
A young man wins the lotto and tries to keep it a secret.

Why See It?
-Because of the plot. Everyone dreams of winning the lotto.
-If you're a Bow Wow or Ice Cube fan.

Why Skip It?

You may end up feeling depressed that you haven't won $370 million dollars yet.

Trailer:




*


Nanny McPhee Returns
What's It About?
The sequel to 2005's Nanny McPhee.

Why See It?

If you liked 2005's Nanny McPhee.

Why Skip It?
If you didn't see the first Nanny McPhee.

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810081581/video


*


The Switch

What's It About?
A woman gets pregnant by artificial insemination unknowingly using her best friend's sperm.

Why See It?

If you're a Jennifer Aniston fan.

Why Skip It?

If you're not a Jennifer Aniston fan.

Trailer:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810071908/video



***
E N J O Y

*T H E*

M O V I E S
***





Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Archie the Movie




I recently bought an Archie comic book (a Betty and Veronica Digest actually) and as I flipped through, I started thinking when will a movie be made of the popular comics?

A T.V. movie was made in 1990 (I can't remember if I saw it or not), Archie: To Riverdale Back and Again depicting what happened to Archie and the gang 15 years after their high school graduation.


The 40's born comic book star Archie has been in the news more recently however, last year in 2009 when it was announced he finally chooses between Betty and Veronica. Although news traveled fast that he picked Veronica, turns out however, he was just dreaming. In one dream he sees his future where he marries Veronica and in another dream, with Betty.



With the most important Archie Comics news in Riverdale history revealed, you'd think movie producers (at least one) would jump to want to turn the comic into a film.


But so far, unfortunately, nope.

As I flipped through the comic, my mind started working and I put together an Archie cast if the comics were made into a movie. I actually did this years ago but the actors and actresses I chose now are a lot more dead on.


Here it goes:


Cast
for
Archie the Movie




Archie Andrews

Add ImageAdd Image

Played by...

 
(Shia LaBeouf)
La Beouf is my top choice for Archie because of his boyish looks and charming, loveable, personality and clumsiness he displays in his roles (Disturbia, Transformers series) a la Riverdale's cute, red headed, clumsy Archie Andrews.






OR

LeBeouf is my top pick because he's been good at the girl crazy, klutzy roles he's played (Disturbia) Archie is cute, girl crazy and clumsy, very likable and popular. LaBeouf is boyishly cute and has played likable characters so far. Dye his hair red and he's the perfect Archie.

(Justin Long)
Fresh-faced Long would make a great Archie as well with the nervous, fun energy he often displays in his roles (Jeepers Creepers, Valentine's Day).



OR

(Justin Timberlake)
The pop singer/actor (Alpha Dog) already looks so much like Archie--- his hair would just have to be dyed. The only downside is he hasn't had enough acting experience under his belt to maybe take on such a popular character. But that could work for him. Out of all the Archie maybes I chose, Timberlake probably would sell the most tickets for sure.



OR


(Jared Padalecki)
With that smile, he has the most boyish quality out of all the actors I listed to play Archie, which is a good thing. He looks like the boy next door and Archie was just that. He's popular on television with the Supernatural series, but playing Archie could be his big breakout role into more lead movie roles.


OR


(Shawn Hatosy)
Hatosy (John Q) already has the red hair going on and a baby face, which makes him perfect looking to play Archie. Unfortunately he's not a big enough actor to take the role of Archie Andrews.




Betty Cooper


Played by...

Add Image

(Brittany Snow)
Snow was the first person who popped into my head when I thought of sweet, down to earth Betty Cooper. Snow's roles are usually the nice girl (Prom Night) and she plays them well. I think she'd ace Betty.


OR


(Mandy Moore)
Moore would make a great Betty because she has that sweet quality about her. Her roles are mostly nice girls (A Walk to Remember). Plus Moore is such a great actresses she wouldn't have trouble living up to Betty's character.


OR

(Kirsten Dunst)


Dunst would make a good Betty with the kindness and smarts she often portrays in most of her roles (Spiderman series, ).
Dunst (Virgin Suicides) would make a good Betty, not so much for her sweet side, but for her sporty side, intellectual.
D



OR


(Scarlett Johansson)
Johansson is often known for her sexiness but she has a soft quality to her (The Other Boleyn Girl). It would be fun seeing her sexiness toned down and playing Betty.





Veronica Lodge

Add Image

Played by...



(Megan Fox)
Megan Fox looks exactly like Veronica Lodge.
She's the only actress I can see playing the gorgeous, rich, bitchy, superficial Veronica.
This probably would be the role Fox (Jennifer's Body) was meant to play. And although she's not the best actress in Hollywood she would play Veronica as Veronica is written.




Reggie Mantle



Played by...



Add Image
(Zac Efron)
Efron really resembles the handsome, cocky Reggie Mantle almost to the tee. Efron is known for playing nice guy roles (Charlie St. Cloud) so it would be great seeing him play a bastard for once. I don't doubt he could pull it off.

 
OR


(Cam Gigandet)
Gigandet already looks Reggie-ish with his blond hair darker. Seeing how great he can be as a bad guy (Never Back Down) he would be too good playing Reggie.


OR


(Taylor Lautner)
Lautner's grin at times can look like a smirk and Reggie is king smirk-er. Lautner has played good guys so far (Twilight series) so it would be cool seeing him being arrogant.


OR



 (Penn Badgley)
Badgley has the bad boy look of Reggie in the bag. He hasn't done too many films and is known mostly for his character on the t.v. show Gossip Girl but successful playing Reggie Mantle would change that.




Jughead Jones


Played by...


(Adam Sevani)
There's no one else I see as playing skinny, hamburger eating, crown wearing, sarcastic Jughead than Sevani. He has the look and the personality. He's played the borderline cool/uncool guy (Step Up 2 & 3) down pat before so he'd do Jughead justice.


OR


 (Ryan Gosling)
Gosling is known for mostly serious roles (Half Nelson, Fracture), so seeing him playing such a fun character as Jughead would be really great.




Moose Mason


Played by...


(Kellan Lutz)
Lutz (Twilight series) is uncanny to "Big Moose"--- blond and buff. He's perfect.


OR

(Sam Worthington)
I would like to see Worthington (Avatar), who usually plays smart characters, play dumb Moose. He's got the body. Now he just needs to lose the brains.


OR


(Channing Tatum)
Tatum is known for his rough around the edges roles (Fighting) and for that, I think he would make a good, always up for a fight, Moose.




Dilton Doiley



Played by...

(Elijah Wood)
Who else could play Dilton? Wood has the nerd role (The Faulty) perfected. All he needs is genius Dilton's black rimmed glasses.


OR

(Michael Cera)
Cera is the new "in" nerdy guy and he plays the part well (Superbad). He'd make a good Dilton.




Chuck Clayton



Played by...



(Derek Luke)
Is Luke in this picture Chuck come to life or what? Derek Luke, an underrated good actor (Antwone Fisher), has been MIA in film for a bit. It would be great seeing him play Chuck the athlete.


OR


(Columbus Short)
Short would also be great as Chuck. Chuck is very popular and friendly and Short, who plays mostly personable roles (Stomp the Yard) would have no problem nailing that.




Ethel Muggs


Played by...



(Judy Greer)
Greer is my top choice for the lanky, Jughead obsessed Ethel come alive on the big screen. She plays nerdy girls so well (Jawbreaker). She's not the biggest actress but the roles she plays are always great.


OR


(Juliette Lewis)
Lewis (Natural Born Killers) just based on her looks would be a great choice to play Ethel.


OR


(Heather Matarazzo)
Matarazzo is apt to playing eccentric, loser charcters it seems (Welcome to the Dollhouse, Saved!)--- so her playing Ethel would be easy.


OR


(Keira Knightley)
Knightley usually plays serious roles (Atonement) so it would be nice seeing her play a silly role.


OR


(Kristen Stewart)
Kristen Stewart (Twilight series) would be good as Ethel for the thin part mostly, but I think with work, she could be a good Ethel. Seeing her with all of Ethel's energy would be a sight.




Midge Klump


Played by...


(Christina Ricci)
Ricci (Black Snake Moan) is perfect to play cute, tiny (well compared to her huge boyfriend Moose) Midge.


OR


(Mila Kunis)
Kunis (American Psycho 2) has the look petite, cutesy that makes her equally great as Midge.



Nancy Woods



Played by...



(Dana Davis)
Davis (Prom Night) would be a very good choice for Chuck's artistic girlfriend Nancy. More a T.V. actresses, the role could give her a bigger break into movie acting.


OR


(Joy Bryant)
Bryant, known for her sassy and smart roles (Honey) could be a good Nancy as well.


OR


(Zoe Saldana)
Saldana (Star Trek) could be a great Nancy also.




Cheryl Blossom


Played by...



(Jenna Dewan)
Dewan was the first actresses I thought of when I thought of the sexy, redhead Cheryl Blossom. Her sexy breakout role in the relatively unheard of horror film, Tamara is the reason why.


OR



(Lindsay Lohan)
If Lohan (Mean Girls) ever looks like this again, she would be perfect for Cheryl.


OR



(Scarlett Johansson)
Johansson can play sexy good (Iron Man 2). With dyed hair as pictured and some attitude, she'd be a good Cheryl.



Mr. Weatherbee

Played by...

(Danny Devito)
Devito (Batman Returns) is my number one choice. Doesn't he look just like Archie's principal Mr. Weatherbee?



Mr. Lodge




Played by...



(Dennis Farina)
This is Mr. Lodge. Farina's toughness (Out of Sight) would be dead on for Veronica's fatherly over-protectiveness as Mr. Lodge


OR
 
(Robert DeNiro)
DeNiro (Meet the Parents series) would be another great choice to for Mr. Lodge. He just needs the mustache.




Pop Tate



Played by...

(John Goodman)
Goodman (Roseanne t.v. series) would make a great Pop Tate, already having the look (sans the mustache) and friendly personality of Riverdale's popular Chock'lit Shoppe.


OR


(James Gandolfini)
Seeing Gandolfini, known for his mobster roles on T.V. (The Sopranos) and in movies (The Juror), in an apron and cooking as Pop Tate of the Chocklit Shoppe, would be memorable.


Miss Grundy





Played by...


(Helen Mirren)
Mirren (The Queen) is lovelier, but her silver hair makes her a dead ringer for the bun wearing, strict yet caring teacher, Miss Grundy.



Now this would be a dream Archie cast!

The only news about an Archie film being made was in 2003:

Archie Comics fans have been patient enough. Hopefully we'll be seeing an Archie film (with some of these actors & actresses!) sometime very soon!