Sunday, July 17, 2011

M.I.A. M.T.E. (Movie Theatre Etiquette)




If only everyone knew how to be c-o-u-r-t-e-o-u-s to each other at the movies, going to the movies would be a completely better experience than it usually is.

I can't remember the last time I had a perfect movie going experience or if I ever really had one.

The perfect movie going experience would be seeing a movie 100% solo--- or with as little as people possible--- which is why I love going to earlier showings.

I find myself during and after the movie annoyed for some reason due to another moviegoer being well, annoying (although I can think of a dozen other worst names to call them!). Instead of being calm and enjoying myself, my blood pressure often rises when I'm at the movies.

I've experienced it all--- from someone talking throughout the whole movie (in English and other languages) to someone kicking my chair throughout the whole movie, to someone screaming throughout the whole movie, to someone (and another) seemingly having sex throughout some of the movie--- all while sitting directly behind me. I've witnessed fights, missed some of the movie playing because some latecomer blocked my view trying to find seats--- and the weirdest thing--- one guy walking up and down each empty row until he seemingly got bored.

With all this irritating behavior from too many moviegoers--- there should be a new kind of police appointed--- The Movies Police. You can bet there would be a whole lot less talking, lateness, bickering, etc. when at the movies.


 Top annoying moviegoer offenses in my experience are:


1) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO LIKES TO KICK/PROP THEIR FEET UP ON CHAIRS.
(I really don't understand this annoying moviegoer probably the most. This extremely annoying moviegoer has to be looking for a fight. Why else would you kick a chair that you know is occupied with a person?!? The only annoying moviegoer that can get away with chair kicking is literally a child--- under 13. Unless the chair in front of you is empty--- don't kick it or prop your feet up on it!)

2) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO ADDS THEIR THOUGHTS ALOUD TO THE MOVIE.
(Another mind-boggling annoying moviegoer. Keep your thoughts to yourself! Sure it is okay to react to the movie, but not throughout the entire movie! The only dialogue that should be heard is from the characters on the screen, not a moviegoer!)

3) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO TALKS--- ON THEIR PHONE/TO ANOTHER PERSON WHILE THE MOVIE IS PLAYING.
(This annoying moviegoer is usually considered the the most annoying because talking during a movie is ridiculous! How can you tell what's going on in the movie if you're talking through it??? A little bit of whispering is okay--- full fledged talking, NEVER, and answering a cell phone to have a conversation doesn't make any sense--- there's a lobby for that!)


4) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO IS VERY LATE TO THE MOVIES.
(This annoying moviegoer is especially annoying because they come in usually talking if they're with someone on where they think an empty seat is/they block the playing movie for some moviegoers as they enter the aisle. Being early to your movie showing is ideal but if you are late--- don't make a big show--- find an empty seat as fast as possible.)


5) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO SNEAKS INTO A MOVIE.
( I don't know what's more annoying, seeing this faux moviegoer sneak free into a movie I rightly paid for--- or that they usually sneak in very late into the movie disrupting real moviegoer's concentration on the movie. It makes no sense at all to sneak into a movie at the halfway mark or the end. This annoying fake moviegoer is the reason why The Movies Police really should exist!)


6) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO KEEPS GETTING UP TO USE THE BATHROOM/STEP OUTSIDE.
(This annoying moviegoer is almost as worst as the annoying latecomer moviegoer. If you have a bladder problem or for whatever other reason have to keep leaving the theatre auditorium--- pick a seat at the end of a row so you don't have to disturb the people in your row by squeezing past them every 5 minutes.) 


7) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO BRINGS BABIES/KIDS TO THE MOVIES.
(Yes, babies and kids can be annoying moviegoers too when taken to the wrong movie--- but the adult who took them to the wrong movie is the real annoying moviegoer. Babies and kids should be taken only to movies that are meant for children: read G-Rated. There shouldn't ever be any little ones admitted to an R-Rated movie! If the movie is PG-13, children should be brought at an earlier time where they won't disturb too many people in case they start to "act up".)


8) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOERS WHO MAKE OUT AND GO BEYOND AT MOVIES.
(These annoying moviegoers are super annoying because no one wants to see/hear a couple's sex life on display behind/besides/in front of them while trying to watch a movie. Unless you sit in a very empty last row/auditorium to take care of business--- go home/to a ho-motel for any sexual activity--- us other moviegoers didn't pay to see a peep show!)


9) THE ANNOYING MOVIEGOER WHO LITTERS AT THE MOVIES.
(This annoying moviegoer leaves evidence of popcorn, soda, etc. on the floor or empty containers in the cup holder for the next moviegoer who sits in their seat. There's something called a trash can that your trash belongs in.)


There's many more offenses but I can't keep going on forever.

Going to the movies should be a fun experience.
But since a large number of moviegoers don't know how to behave during the simplest task of sitting in a seat and watching a screen, moviegoing often becomes off-putting, especially with the rising ticket prices. Who wants to pay to be more aggravated than entertained?


In the perfect movie going experience, the Movies Police would be on hand for all those annoying moviegoers out there.

In the world of imperfect moviegoing experiences, frank signs like this one plastered on the auditorium entrance and flashing before a movie starts, may help a bit:



To have good movie theatre etiquette simply:

-Don't kick other people's chairs,
-Don't think your thoughts aloud, 
-Don't talk to your companion(s) or on your phone,
-Don't come super late,
-Don't keep getting up out your seat,
-Don't bring children to a non-children film,
-Don't engage in sexual activity,
 Don't litter.

The movies would be a better place if everyone would just:







***


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